Ultimate confusion

Dealing with an egoistic person, can make yourself drowning into a confusion. If they made mistakes, instead of saying ‘Yes, I made mistake, can you forgive me and give me one more chance?” they tend to say “It is a mistake, leave me for a while, I need my time”.

And, if you still wanna them in your life, you’ll find yourself clearing the air which supposed to be their responsibility. You’ll find yourself saying sorry yada yada yada just to bring back the good will because you know if you let it as it be, things will just remain the same for centuries. They would never try to lower down their pride and ego to make things right. So, even if you think it is not your fault (it really is) you’ll get confused why would you do all these like it was your fault. You lowered down your ego but they are still viewing you as the most terrible person in the world, and lost interest in you – which supposed to be vise versa. What an ultimate confusion.

If you don’t love them, and decided to throw them away after what had happened, you won’t bother to lower down your own ego and make things right. Instead, you’ll wait until they come to their sense and finally will say something warm which can make you accept them back (but you know it’s not going to happen).

So, my friend, that is how you found yourself trapped in a puzzle full of self-confusion when dealing with such personality. It is because you love them, you ignored your own pride; which sometimes kill you from inside, slowly. Even though you were so mad and need a sort of consolation, you consoled yourself and get your shit together- and say sorry to those who wronged you? Goodness, what a world. To make it more crazy, you don’t even mind doing all these. I guess, it is how powerful love can be.

or maybe it is just a plain stupidity that long-buried in yourself. Anyhow, when you delved into this below quote, maybe you are not that bad. Yea, you’re not that bad.

Forgiveness is the best form of love. It takes a strong person to say sorry and an even stronger person to forgive.

Before midnight 

8 minutes before midnight. Don’t know why I’m still wide awake at this hour. Usually I went flat 3 hours ago, but tonight I’m still fresh. 

I just got the feeling..feeling of wasting the space on this planet. I think, planet earth got no difference whether I exist on it or not. No significant different. I’m just wasting the air and the time, and the precious space here. 

I am feeling rubbish. But who cares whatever shit I’m feeling.

2 days before November ends

After a week of not hitting the gym, I was out of breath after 20 minutes on treadmill. I knew Monday will be always a struggle day given my cheat day is on weekend!

So, 2 days more before November ends. It means, these 2 days, I will be bloody busy to chase my target. Nora has just emailed to everyone that our salary which supposed to be on last Friday will only be deposited tomorrow noon. Damn late!

*was thinking to get myself a bluetooth-headphone but thinking about the price..hmm*

Till then, gednite.

I lost my favorite theme!

I lost my favorite blog theme! I was finding some things to kill my time and I said ‘why not changing my blog theme?’. I kept using the same theme for quite a long time, and guess this little mate of mine deserved some new appearances.

..and I forgot to take note on the name of my previous theme so that I could change it back in case I didn’t manage to get a suitable one.

Now that I’m not really ‘in-love’ with the themes offered to me, I tried to remember and search bluntly for my previous theme but failed. End up, I chose this theme, and I will try to love it, even though I still miss my old theme. As they said, you can’t have all you love. Well said, people. Well said.

So, friend, you got a new face. Hope you’re happy and don’t get bored being my virtual companion!

being irrational, or whatsoever

I am human who doesn’t like other human.

In case you’re watching me so blend in with someone, it is either I really like the person or I’m just put a great act on it-for several reasons. I am mean, plain and self-centered, now you know.

I don’t like small talk, I adore a big, deep talk which gives me meanings and thoughts. I couldn’t stand people who lie for other people’s comfort, as much as I hate people who need other people to make them happy. I mean, happiness comes from within, if you depend on others to let happiness happened on you,. I don’t know, who cares, it’s your life after all.

I, personally don’t like to let in so much people into my life. I am very selective on this because I like to keep distant from the sick world and society nowadays. Human is complex, dumb and hypocrite. So, in case I let you in into my world, you must be something else.

But I’m friendly, and easy going from outside with general society. But for constant engagement, I’m not the person. You see, human is hypocrite, I’m human too, just so you know.

I literally hate everything around me right now. It’s so real.


nasi lemak

Just finished my nasi lemak and milo ais which I bought after I dropped my bags in my office. I seldom eat such a large breakfast these days, but maybe because it was raining outside, I craved for something I haven’t had for a long time. The spicy nasi lemak and the creamy milo ais, they can never go wrong. Because of the rain, I had to drive my car to work even though it is just 2 km away. My bad, I always lose my umbrella, guess umbrella and Izni would never meant to be together.

I don’t know what is the significance of writing about the humble nasi lemak and milo ais, but I feel like writing,something.

anyway, happy working! (even if you don’t feel like)