Currently,trying to get my eyes close – but man,it cant be closed!
which mean, I am not sleepy YET.
Mountain of things to settle up by this month but no no a big no – I’m not doing a single thing about that. No heart feeling, let me relax, chill first, then I will settle you all,okeh?
Just finished writing and cutting some colourful papers to be pasted on my room wall ( a specific section on my white room wall). They are some motivational kicks to start my day, like quotes, target, dreams,reminder, and things like that. Something unseen and uncertainty. It is so me. Hoping and wishing earth and heaven virtually and I am kinda of people who believe how weird and impossible your dreams are, they are ACHIEVABLE.
some may not. but, the possibilities is there. Heard about a principle of dreaming?
If you believe it, it will come true.
The quote keep attaching to my frontal lobe like, when I was in my Form 3 – taking PMR. The dreams and belief in “it will come true”, is really magical. I’ve gone through it and there’s no reason why I should stop believing.
Not until recently. I gave up on something. someone to be more precised.
Giving up when you didnt know whether it is the right time, or should you just hold your breath for a little more longer? Maybe it will turn out another way? No way. After finding appropriate reasons to giving up. yeah. I did that, finally! I gave up and I am proud to be out of those egoism-ignorance-unsure circle. It bothers me more than I expected.
It is not about kid-love couple-thingy like that, but something more serious.
Topic-off. Another topic is actually, I found a new blog, an awesome abandoned blog,I think. She is another awesome blogger that I ever read after Maria Elena, and some people that I forgot their name. She know what to write (not like me) and even when she has no nothing to write on, but still the writing made me go like, “hmm,.interesting!” , I can’t really explain it clearly, I don’t know how to explain it. heh. But, enjoyed much reading hers.
Hope to write like that. haha. * It is not my first time wishing so*
So, another topic is an INTERRUPTION. Got more interruption these days. With human and non human. Non human refers to task, lists, assignments, lectures and human, you know what I mean. I always imagine I can be in an isolated place,where I can convey anything, talk to myself alone and let me breath without have to make whatever errands.
Like today – is so funny. Right after Maghrib, turned on my laptop, clicked Microsoft Word, and starting to type fastly what I though before. It should be my first cerpen after few months of writing nothing. But not after I realised that I didnt close my room’s door. My housemate greets me by asking what I’m doing.
I said, it was my assignments. She came in, hoping to see how ‘hardworking’ I am to write those assignment in the speed of light(?) – I just cant hold my showering ideas XD
Sorry babe, I just lied to you. Have to.
Cant believed that she REALLY came in, throw her eyes on my laptop’s screen, I was deadly tried to find answer to make her get rid of my screen! She asked me, “really?, in that malay words?”
I was like, crap! it is not for read! i mean, “not for read yet”, then I made a quick twist by ‘minimise’ my Word and chatting with her this and that, showing the pictures of my old field trips, crabs, turtles , well, not to mention, I am so attached to aquatic.haha
So, it was like until Isya’. She had to go somewhere else to settle about her orientasi things.I opened up again my Word, wishing to continue where I stopped.
It is not surprising that I went so blank. Not that I have no idea, nor forgot my main theme of story, it just the eager and enthusiasm like I felt before is not there. The spirit is cut-off.
I can’t write anything without enthusiasm.
So, after offering my Isya’ prayer, tried my hard to squeeze my brain to continue those lines. I just not in the mood, again. So, I close the window and it asked me whether I want to save the document or not. I clicked “Dont Save”. So, another story met its end. Unfinished story.
I really hate any kind of interruption when I am writing. The incident, somehow can be related to Hlovate today. On facebook. Someone hacked his or whatever gender he/she having by posting a personal stuffs,acting like he/she is Hlovate. Maybe the hacker trying to fooled around with Hlovate (since all Malaysian girlsss keep asking “Who is Hlovate”, “I really want to meet and know Hlovate” “the pinky love” and the geli wordss keep going which could make me muntah hijau one day). Seriously.
The personal stuffs of Hlovate reflects Hlovate as a doctor (based on a stethoscope) and a guy (based on a wallet). A doctor who write? I mean, how cool is that? But, still, it remains unknown. Like I care, who is Hlovate? Dont really care, just care about how Hlovate generate the ideas and turn it into a beautiful language and writing?
Again, it is about Privacy. Hlovate is (maybe) a privacy lover. Hlovate really see honour and respect as a big things, which is good. Really good and yes,you have to respect others. Till then, enough of my mengarut story. maybe this is my longest post ever. haha! My head keep on berdenyut. Need some sleep,will try to sleep.