It was an emotional-lobster-feeding indeed. My fault for couldn’t make it yesterday. I unintentionally creating my one-more-day-holiday. Haha, seriously it’s not my intention. I supposed to feed up all those creatures yang never really know what raya means..but it was too late when I woke up. It was the moment when I felt sorry for the lobsters for being lobsters. They had no food for a whole day until today, this morning – the first thing I did when I reached the unit, I fed all of them. I took out artemia and gave the larvae a syringe extra. I defrost the squid, stopped the aeration and fed the broodstock.
When the squid touched their antenna, they were all fight for it. I threw more and the mini fighting continue. I was thinking about the painful starving they had while I’m full with the delicacies these two days. I’m sorry, lobster. Glad that you stay strong.
Not to mention the larvae under my supervision are now terribly decreasing. Haha. That wasn’t my fault. They’re naturally fragile anyway.
He asked me out for lunch. Successfully avoided. I don’t care what he wanna think..but really no, thank you. I’m not interested.
Allah sends these peoples as a reason for me to live my best. For me to be strong and stronger in every painful bits, as a catalyst for me to stand up again after every falls. For me to be a better me.
Among the trio, I’m the one who is often absent. These four, five years – I’d missed a series of vacations (jealous!) and family events, critical moments, and the most important thing is – maybe, just maybe I’m the one who are less in understanding mak abah because I spent more times abroad rather than being home.
No worry. Love can be expressed in many ways.I’m still learning to understand people around me, understanding me myself. Alhamdulillah for this great backbone. I can’t imagine how to stand strong without these amazing team.
Welcome back! This isolated island is now floated again. Yosh! Happy Eidulfitri, may the past Ramadhan become a refreshing air and a great motivation and lesson for us in worshiping Allah, The Almighty. Happy return to fitrah! But make sure this new fitrah that we hold are better than our yesterday.
So, what had Ramadhan gave to you? Have you change even in a minute aspect? Lesson? Is it possible to make the lesson to stay for the rest of our lives? The worst is why we haven’t learnt any lesson during the noble month? I thought about this year by year after each Ramadhan. Some of the lessons we (I) learnt flew away after two or three months after Ramadhan, never it stayed for a bit longer – which doesn’t surprised me. We have to not let the determination get cold and vanished by time. It should be refreshed and renewed at an interval.
Grew older (and wiser?), I reflected a lot on this one thing – Focus. I seek for a definition of the real focus in worshipping Allah. How to kick out the worldly scent out of our mind while we are facing Allah? How to ignore the uncertain and stop worrying about some things that is obviously are out of our control? We have to learn and understand about the “total submission”. Every problems and heart diseases we ever faced and experienced, I believe it was rooted from the lacked focus on Allah. It is interesting to sit and think deeply about this.
Good weather, with silent FRI. The green paddy field looks greener, maybe the greenest I’d ever seen. They are beautifully survived after a harsh wind and rain yesterday night. The damp and empty road I drove on, felt like I’m the one on this planet that’s still working at this hour. Others are enjoying their holiday and I’m here counting the tick tock. I should continue my sleep as everybody does, shouldn’t I? Haha, but mind not, I love being here with less people around.
Wan and Hamzah are still here. What a shock. I thought they had their last day yesterday. Today is a gossip-less day. Haha, how relieved! I can talk to anybody without any paparazi and meaningful smile. Heh.
So, tomorrow is the last working day before I will finally return home.
Having a definite life goal is a way too charming, while not having any is a shame, a bit of life failures. Haha, and I kinda feel that failures too often recently – when people around me were buzzing about their life goals, plans and all – I saw nothing but a hollow midst. I’d never become sure what I wanna end up with, I got no pleasure of following what people usually did with their lives. The norm – how do I get out from this norm curse?
Today, let say I just found a leading light. A light at the end of the dark tunnel that I’d been searching for. I know this is all what I wanna do for my remained life and age. I found my infinite joy doing that. It is like when someone take me diving deep into the ocean, watching the colourful starfish and the mesmerizing corals. That feeling – I found in it.
Pray for my failure to fade away. Pray so that the midst will be blown away slowly by that cold wind.
They’re all insanely in love with Korea things. Songs, movies, music videos, reality shows, actors, actresses, you name it. Everything! Haha, how do I adapt into that?
Ok, ignore that. Not the main topic here.
I’ve met peoples that deserve higher title and certificate like Master Degree and Doctor of Philosophy; given their experiences and knowledge loads. Likewise I believe that some Master Degree or Doctor of Philosophy holder doesn’t too fit into that title. Some are just too fanatic with the hierarchy and demand the world’s attention.
If I turn out to be one, I pray so that the title I own would not affect my social life (I know it will, but perhaps towards a good side). Living without special title but people around you respect and acknowledge you – is for me, enough said as a “life”. But I know sometimes there’s a group of homo sapien that is too choosy in respecting others. They need to know who you are before respecting you, before they can talk and behave nicely to you. That’s normal, so keep calm if you ever experience any annoying and disrespect treat :]
World, actually I just wanna do my own business, my own things, with less interruption. Puzzled in understanding those inaudible principles.
Had a long talk with En Shakir, one of the staffs that I comfortable with, after En Wan and En Nik. He is right about the fate of our race. He is totally right about the worries. About our kids, achievements, attitudes and whatnot.
When it comes to this issue, I’m not going to blame anyone who says I’m a racist. I am, indeed. He touched about how important is to be a proactive worker and learner. How to copy the way of other races in holding a stable and high world impressions. He said- No matter how ZERO we are at the starting line; we can always be a hero if we are willing to throw aside all the egos and keep learning. Never feel stupid in asking questions, show your interests, and start to act like an alive person. An alive person who knows what he/she wants in this life, who are able to stand alone in the crowds and decide the best for themselves.
We are too blend into the norm, we’re stuck at the judging power of our old community. We had been tied off for too long, weakened – maybe this is the right time for us to let ourselves go. It is the time to cracked off our outer shell. If it seems so difficult, you can try and try again.. sky is the limit,remember?
Till then, I actually forgot how to write in a good way.. I think genes of writing inside me starting to vanish out slowly. Soul-less. Plain.
I just realized (started to believe) that Penang is just 30-minutes away from here. Went to Fiqah’s house; she’d been asking us to pay a visit. Haha, finally we did it. I did it. One wish list checked!
Met her, talked and laughed like we hadn’t meet for 2 years or more hee. She used to be my best best friend so we can’t stop talking :@
So much sweet memories! I guess, that is one of the things that will be missed after these 3-months period.