turn 22!

30 December, the date is coming again.

Sometimes, part of me hope that the date wouldn’t come too fast so that I won’t receive any birthday wish or the party that was (secretly) organised just to celebrate my birthdate. I’m not used to be a main attention – I don’t know how to react when people keep on showering me with those wishes and songs. I would rather be alone and live life as usual. It is the biggest party for me, an introvert. haha!

But well, my university years changed the way the date is celebrated. The two comrades always plan something surprising for me, every years without fail. From the midnight-cake to climb up my room-window whenever it was locked and the climax was last year when they gathered most of my classmates in a room just to have some food-fiesta just for my birthday! haha, I told them I don’t like surprise. But things went well, I was happy, we were.

Today – it’s again. I don’t know why I come to miss the moment. I miss how they tricked me on the day even I told them not to celebrate anything. I miss how they called me a young sister (a baby!), for a late-born me, how they wished I would turn mature haha (I think I would never turn out to be one?).

Now, feel a little awkward of not having them around on this date. It’s a boring day I would say. Anyway, thanks for the wishes and happy birthday to me! 😀

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the comrades. haha so innocent time ni 😛

Fruit-infused water

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Infusing water has become so popular lately when it comes to enhance our water intake. It flavoured your plain water besides providing you with extreme health benefits. To add more, it is delicious!!

Since I have lots of strawberries in the fridge and a couple of leftover lemons, so I decided to make one. It is soooo simple because all you need is the chosen fruits and plain water. The volume is highly depend on you. Just slice up all the fruits and soak them into the water. You can do it in  your daily water drinking bottle, mason jar or any container you favour.

Then, leave it overnight and you can enjoy it on the next morning!

I added up an inch of sliced ginger (and was scared to taste since I hate ginger!) and guess what, it is not bad at all! I can taste a splash of ginger flavour, it has a good smell and flavour (to my surprise). I love this fruit combinations, such a refreshing drink!

When it was my first attempt to make this flavoured drink, I chose cucumbers, and sunkist orange (but well, not as yummy as this time). Besides it acts as detox water, now drinking water should be interesting again! No excuse for you to not drink up to 2 litres (8 cups) every day 😀

p.s : the scent of flowers is getting stronger in my home. It was said that it would last for 2 years! We have white roses, jasmines, and lavenders. Now I feel like in flower garden – homie version.

A Short Escapism [Melaka – KL – Cameron Highland]

Okay, here it is. Some short-pictured-story-update about the awesome trip. Had so much fun since that was my first time joining a vacation trip with my family after four to five years of ketinggalan. Haha. Even it is not an abroad trips like they had during my absences, it’s okay. We had a lot of fun though.

It is a trip by mom’s school staffs and due to the cheap trip fees, apa lagi? We joined lah.

The most exciting part of course, at the Cameron Highland! I imagined every single bits of Kundasang all the way there. haha. My last trip here was about 7 years ago and yes, it is true Cameron Highland is not as cold as before.

On top of that, it is a great trip!

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Entered this, it was fascinating since I am obsess with honey. Surprised to see their ‘honey collection’ – each of them have their own function like Propolis Honey is for sore throat and cough. I wish to have all types of the honey at my home later! heh
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at MARDI Cameron Highland. It is a big institute I told you! If I am a plant science student, I swear to apply some jobs in there.
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Lavendar at MARDI
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Well, still at MARDI. It is a big garden and here we are – the girls and mom. They said four of us is like sibling. couldn’t agree more! haha. seemed alike.
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broccoli hunting! It is much much more fresh and cheap. How I wish to live there for the broccoli sake.
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highland is strawberry-land.
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the lavendar garden! Couldn’t believe my eyes, they are all beautiful.
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an elegant red flower. Kalau boleh semua gambar bunga nak close-up
dah kenapa gembira sangat. haha
dah kenapa gembira sangat. haha
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another flower. My proud photographic art 😛
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and the always- beautiful mom :]

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Kind of guilty for enjoying this since our Kelantanese (and some more affected states) friends are struggling to live from the dreadful flood. May Allah grants us patience and strength to face all this tests.

*start to make my detox water for the over-eating along the trip. :\ This time, I can add-on some strawberries! Can’t wait to see how it tastes.

berputus asa, jangan!

Sudah lewat tengahari baru kami menuruni lereng-lereng bukit Cameron Highland yang agak bersimpang siur itu. Denyutan di tapak kaki ku masih kuat terasa walaupun sudah agak lama kami menaiki bas, ditambah pula dengan sengal-sengal bahu akibat menggalas backpack yang mungkin terlalu lama.

Suasana dalam bas itu sunyi sepi, aku melihat sekeliling dan kebanyakan mereka sudah terlentok tidur dibuai mimpi. Sesekali terdengar dua orang budak kenit itu bersama-sama menyanyikan lagu mereka, dan ada ketikanya aku tersenyum mengenangkan betapa musim kanak-kanak aku dulu juga sebegitu. Begitu senang hati berbahagia. Aku melemparkan pandanganku ke luar, sekadar melayan mata yang masih tegar celik. Bumi Malaysia sangat indah dengan kesuburan dan kehijaun alam sekeliling. Dek hujan renyai-renyai bermula pagi tadi, kabus putih dilihat menyelaputi sebahagian gunung yang terpasak kukuh itu. Aku teringat waktu kami singgah di Lavendar Farm yang subhanAllah sangat cantik itu, ada juga taman bunga ros dan tulip! Pada satu perhentian, mak berkata “tengok ni, subur sungguh tanah Malaysia ni. Tanah kosong macam ni pun bunga tumbuh banyak”, sambil menunjukkan kepadaku pohon hijau yang tumbuh merendang sepanjang tanah itu. Aku mengangguk-angguk mengiyakannya tanda setuju.

Fikiranku melayang lagi. Kali ini entah kemana layangnya, dan sehinggalah aku tersedar mendengar ceramah Ustaz Kazim di corong radio bas yang dipasang pemandu bas buat pemecah sunyi. Suara radio yang terputus-putus (mungkin akibat talian di bukit bukau) cuba aku cantum-cantum menjadi ayat sepatutnya. Saat radio itu jelas kedengaran, Ustaz Kazim mengatakan sesuatu yang membuatkan aku berfikir panjang.

Tentang dakwah dan tekad.

“Kita selalu ‘cemuih’ (Kedahan slang – baca : bosan/ give up) nak ajak orang buat baik. Ajak sekali dua kali dah kata tak larat nak ajak. Putus asa. Tuan-tuan cuba lihat zaman Nabi ajak manusia kepada Islam, baginda guna 13 tahun di Mekah dan sedikit sangat yang ikut. Cuba lihat Nabi Nuh yang tak jemu-jemu seru kaum baginda. Kalau Islam ni mula-mula bagi kat orang Melayu, tak taulah sampai ke dak Islam pada kita.

Tuan-tuan jangan putus asa nak ajak orang buat baik. Kalau kali ke 100 depa tak ikut, mana tau..kalau ajak kali ke 101- Allah gerakkan hati depa untuk berubah?”

Dan setelah itu, oleh sebab line tidak elok pemandu bas it terus off radio dan bas kembali sunyi. Yang dengar hanyalah bunyi enjin bas dan air-cond.

Kata-kata tadi masih segar terngiang di telinga aku. Tentang mengajak orang lain buat kebaikan – aku pernah ‘cemuih’ dan putus asa. Aku pernah cakap dalam hati “biarlah, aku dah ajak. The rest antara kau dan Tuhan”.

Shame on me. Se-luka aku mengajak, aku lupa pasal sirah Nabi-nabi terdahulu. Allah dalam diam dah tunjuk bahawa usaha keras itu tiada limit. Nabi-nabi malah pernah dibaling batu, di hina sebagai orang gila dan see Islam in this world now? Blooming after 1437 years. Worth it?

Sepatutnya kita tak boleh berputus asa biar rabak mana kita. Bukankah kita ini patutnya berpesan-pesan kearah kebaikan? Dan jika diherdik dihina, aku yakin – bukanlah setara yang nabi-nabi kita pernah dulu terima.

Entah bila aku terlelap dalam dakapan gunung-ganang yang separa gondol itu, sedar-sedar sahaja, bas telah berhenti rehat untuk memberi peluang kami solat dan makan sebelum meneruskan lagi perjalanan kami pulang ke utara negara. Hujan yang renyai-renyai tadi telah berhenti, yang tinggal hanyalah bayu dingin yang kadang-kadang menerpa belulang.

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27 Disember 2014
Hari ulang tahun Sakinah, dan saat bumi Kelantan sudah mula “tenggelam”.

Sakinah, the cutest

One day after so many days, Sakinah (matriculation’s partner in crime) sent me something via Whatsapp and I kind of can’t stop smiling for the whole day. For the record, it made my day and memories by memories showed up virtually in my mind.

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Haha. This is real funny!

It was 3 years ago! When my handwriting was terribly terrible and not to forget my noble ambition was to be an obstetrician (Thanks God I didn’t  be one). I remembered one of the love-shaped-paperclips I usually made for her and she keep all of them in a good place. This is such an honour for me and who said “friendship forever” doesn’t exist? She’s even remember of every motivational quotes I’d ever said.

That’s too cute, Sakinah!

4 days more is your birthday and 3 days after that is mine. Don’t you think it’s why we are so close together? It must be a destiny. Haha. So, happy birthday in advance, sis! Just stay the way you are and have a blast day!

Know that I’ll always love and support you :]

Penghujung 2014 (2)

After the 2014’s happy events – now the dark sides. Tahun 2014, bagi aku – ialah “tahun kehilangan”.

Dua bulan terakhir sebelum 2015, ada tiga orang yang aku kenal telah meninggal dunia. Orang-orang yang aku agak rapat dan orang yang selalu aku tengok lalu-lalang depan mata, now kalau difikir-fikir balik, macam mimpi pulak. Macam terlalu cepat semua ini berlaku.

Bulan 11 ialah permulaan yang suram. Aku dapat berita yang my uncle (we called him Pak Ngah) masuk hospital sebab sesak nafas. From there on, he was warded frequently sebab several things. and last sekali, arwah ditempatkan di CCU, sambil mesin-mesin gergasi di kiri kanan, tiub-tiub disambung ke beberapa tempat termasuklah di kerongkong untuk membolehkan oksigen cepat sampai ke otak. We were informed that he was suffered from blood cancer but alas it was too late for him to get a proper treatment. Memang blood cancer susah detect di peringkat awal eh? Dalam sepuluh,sebelas hari jugak arwah ditempatkan di CCU. Aku selalu jugak masuk tengok dan duduk beside him baca Surah Yaasin. Sometimes, aku berhenti at the middle of the Surah dan tengok beliau yang terlantar kurus itu, sambil berdoa moga-moga Allah kurangkan kesakitan beliau. Aku harap sangat jari beliau bergerak macam kat drama TV tu, tapi ada sesekali aku perasan bebola mata beliau bergerak, aku tahu dia dengar semua yang berlaku di sekelilingnya, cuma mungkin terlalu sakit untuk nak respons.

Beberapa hari sebelum arwah meninggal, he started to open up his eyes dan air matanya mengalir perlahan-lahan. Beberapa kali jugak he tried to say something, tapi tak boleh. Nampak darah dalam mulut arwah bila he tried to speak. Maybe sebab wayar-wayar yang disambung tu kot. I know, it must be so hurt bila ditebuk dengan wayar-wayar macam tu. Sometimes, bila aku baca Yaasin sebelah arwah, aku harap arwah tak buka mata tengok aku. Sebab if he did, I don’t know what should I do, or how much the tears I would pour out. Satu malam tu, macam biasa, kami melawat arwah lagi. Selepas salam Ngah (isterinya) yang memang matanya selalu merah dan bengkak sebab menangis, aku cuba talk rambles untuk bagi Ngah senyum dan ketawa, and after tengok Ngah masih boleh senyum dan bergurau, oh I think she is a strong woman –  and for a second, I was relieved. Then adik aku yang baru keluar baca Yaasin, I saw her eyes were all red. She was shakingly told us what had happened masa dia baca Yaasin kat dalam. He opened up his eyes and tengok adik, then adik ajar mengucap pelan-pelan di tepi telinga arwah, dan at the same time air mata arwah mengalir lagi. Ngah yang baru senyum ketawa tadi, aku tengok kelopak matanya berair lagi.

Dua hari selepas itu, Pak Ngah meninggal.

Aku betul-betul tak sangka yang orang yang aku selalu sembang dan bergurau sekarang dah tiada. Macam mimpi. Tak percaya.

A week after or so, satu lagi berita kematian kami terima. Kali ini, jiran yang selang tiga buah rumah dari rumah aku. We called him Pak Cik Hussin. Aku selalu ternampak arwah naik motosikalnya lalu depan rumah aku. Kadang-kadang, waktu petang, arwah selalu cuci longkang di belakang rumah kejiranan kami. Selepas beberapa hari aku dengar arwah dimasukkan ke hospital, tiba-tiba abah told me arwah dah meninggal. Sakit macam Pak Ngah, blood cancer cuma bezanya arwah dapat tahu cepat. But nothing boleh lawan takdir Allah,kan? He passed away and I peluk his wife (happened to be my teacher) urut-urut belakang dia tanda suruh sabar. Tanda ” It’s okay, he will be at a better place. Don’t be sad”. Sempat aku tengok wajah arwah. Tenang. Setenang wajah Pak Ngah yang aku tengok seminggu lalu.

Aku tertanya-tanya. Macam mana wajah aku nanti waktu aku dah tiada nyawa. Waktu aku dimandikan dan waktu keluarga aku last tatap muka aku, I wonder how my face will look like.

Yesterday morning, ada satu berita lagi yang sangat mengejutkan aku. Jiran aku sebelah rumah meninggal! Pak Cik Razak yang sangat baik, ramah dan suka kanak-kanak itu akhirnya pergi menghadap Sang Pencipta. Antara semua berita, ini ialah berita yang paling tidak disangka-sangka. Sebab seingat aku, aku baru sahaja melihat arwah bersembang dengan abah kelmarin. Sungguh, macam tak percaya. Waktu aku melihat wajah arwah, subhanAllah! arwah seperti tidur dengan nyenyak dan tersenyum. Arwah meninggal pada pagi Jumaat. Betapa bertuahnya Pak Cik Razak, dan mungkin arwah sedang duduk bersila di rumahnya di syurga sana.

Tak kisahlah if tahun 2014 ialah tahun crush tak pandang ke, boyfriend dah stop loving you ke, atau hilang smartphone yang beribu harganya – bagi aku, semua cerita ‘genre’ tu, aku malas nak fokus dan huraikan. Terlalu mainstream untuk aku kupas. Bila aku tengok balik gambar potret keluarga besar kami, aku tengok semakin berkurang ahlinya. Betullah, keluarga dan kesayangan kita bukanlah milik kita sepenuhnya. Tiba masa, Yang Maha Pencipta punya kuasa untuk ambil semula.

Bila aku fikir setiap berita kematian yang aku terima dalam tahun ini, aku macam bermimpi. Tak sangka orang yang selalu kita tengok dan kenal, tiba-tiba diambil Illahi. Sungguh mati itu tidak dapat disangka, dan aku takut kalau-kalau amal dan perangai aku masih tak cukup untuk aku mati tersenyum macam arwah-arwah yang aku tatap. Aku malu dengan Allah kalau siakan peluang nyawa ini.

Semoga kita pun tersenyum saat diambil nyawa.

Alfatihah untuk arwah-arwah.

Selamat tahun 2015.

Penghujung 2014 (1)

11 hari lagi, 2015 akan menjelma. Sedang aku masih lagi kadang-kadang tersasul menulis “2012” (gila) – tak sangka betul time is getting faster and faster. Masih aku ingat the rumors yang mengatakan 2012 akan terjadinya hari kiamat,dan kini menginjak 2015, aku rasa tidak ada sesiapa lagi yang berani (atau percaya) tentang tarikh hari kiamat. Sudah tertulis yang sebelum terjadinya kiamat, ada beberapa ‘peristiwa besar’ akan terjadi, dan selagi peristiwa-peristiwa itu tidak lengkap  insyaAllah kita masih sempat bertaubat. Dan kan Allah dah berfirman yang tarikh kiamat itu HANYA DIA sahaja yang tahu?

Tahun 2014 melabuhkan tirainya dengan beberapa peristiwa yang aku kira, sangat berbeza dengan tahun-tahun yang lainnya. Banyak sangat yang dah berubah, seriously, tahun yang baru akan datang ini it won’t be the same as before.

Sepanjang 5 tahun kebelakangan ini, aku rasa tahun 2014 ialah tahun yang significant. Ada sesetengah dreams aku yang come true contohnya dari segi kesihatan dan pembinaan diri dan sahsiah. haha. Gelak guling-guling sekarang juga! >.<

Firstly, aku dah kurus sikit (sikit je laa) daripada dulu (past 10 -15 years).Alhamdulillah. one thing yang aku rasa impossible dalam hidup. *bukan riak! haha – nak tips? pm me 😛 *

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Sebelah kiri gambar dulu. Aku pernah bigger than that. Sobs

Secondly, dari segi diri aku sendiri, personally. Dulu I kind of tiada konfiden to stand out, to blend with people, very anti-organisation (now reduce sikit), and very tak ambil pusing hal orang lain dan surrounding. My life dulu is a real dark and you have no idea lah how my life dulu. Now, Alhamdulillah, started to make some friends, try to talk and socialise around (most of the times uhm well pretending) and life get better. I even started to join some organisation, started to write what I feel, started to create some dreams,but on top of all, it is still me who need more my own space.

Yang ketiganya, aku dah berjaya move on after a very disturbing struggles. Penghujung 2014, aku dah fully recovered. I’d never thought that I can get through this.

Next thing on the lists is I somehow got my karya published! This one really made my year! Two of my short stories were chosen by Penulisan2u.com to be published on their web, and another one diterbitkan dalam sebuah buku by Terfaktab yang bertajuk Do-It. Aku tak sangka yang menulis secara membabi buta aku ni ada hasilnya, Alhamdulillah, rezeki Allah takkan salah alamat kan? Just keep on doing what you love. Antara peristiwa yang buat aku terharu ialah bila abang Nazali Noor honoured my writings. For those yang tak kenal who is he – he is actually an author of UYDL yang memang aku salute sangat. He is so inspiring and not even in my wildest dream could I’ve imagined him reading my writings and reply those inspiring words!

Above is some of the major events yang happened through out the year. Yang happy-happy, yang buat semangat. Kalau diikutkan, banyak lagi the happy, minor things on the lists but let them be untold. Sebab nanti berjela pulak sampai esok tak sudah baca.

Next, the dark sides.

business

My jaw dropped when I failed in multiple attempts to log in this blog account. 2 weeks plus without any entry update, felt like I’d never own one. haha. And finally, somehow I typed something that was popped in my memory (that maybe,maybe it could be the password) and yeah! Here I am. (I don’t know what the password I typed, glad that I ticked the ‘remember me’ box so that I wouldn’t have to type the password again).

Oldness proven? Hell yes. Some of my memories (password especially) seemed to be destroyed earlier than it supposes to! What is going on? Or blame not aging process, maybe it has something to do with my neuron,somewhere at the frontal lobe.heh

Okay. Enough of that.

It has been one month and seventeen days since I graduated and still unemployed. Been through a lot of job applications, some rejections, some halfway succeeds and my faith is still the same. I won’t give up that easy, I know some people get hired after one to two years of graduating. So, no problem. As long as we keep on trying and hoping, someday a good news may hit you.

Rather than finding a part-time job, I started up some small businesses. Shawls is the main one followed by food and beverages. Car-boot sale! I just love this idea, really! It is fun to meet random people, talking to the customers, and I’m now understand this saying – “when you love the job, you didn’t feel tired – you enjoyed doing it”.

Oh, we sisters yang punya plan since all of us are now home and all the minds think alike. Business! We dreamed of food truck one fine day, and I can’t stop thinking about it every time before I fall asleep. From the food truck concept, the possible name, the menus, and the dream goes on. I was once googled up for any food truck/mobile kitchen that’s availabe for sale, and guess what? it is about eighteen thousands ringgit! Then, I stopped googling and muhasabah kejap. Haha.

I think, it must be interesting to record the journey of us. All these plans and activities make our bond stronger,and yeah it is much more easier (and fun too!) to work with our own siblings and family.

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the shawls, running online. @closetbyher
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the weirdest things I ever tried haha. fun!
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one of the menus. Popia!