Hari itu bermula mendung. Dia melemparkan pandangannya kearah jendela yang betul-betul dihadapannya itu. Terlihat sedikit cahaya yang berusaha menerobos di celah-celah langsir yang berwarna merah hati itu. Dia merenung kipas siling yang ligat berputar tidak jauh di atasnya itu.


Kembali siang lagi.

Entah kali keberapa dia menyapa siang dengan termenung sahaja. Jika ada hari yang dirasanya mahu berubah; lebih baik- hari ini lah. Hari ini dia mahu menjadi lebih baik, lebih fokus dan lebih sedar akan dirinya, dan sekelilingnya. Cukuplah dengan segala calar yang dia lalui, segala kesilapan yang tak kunjung henti, atau segunung khayalan dusta yang bermain di lorong mindanya untuk sekian lamanya. Dirasanya cukup-cukuplah dengan segalanya itu, jelek rasanya ber-hidupan seperti itu.

Maka, siang itu beransur perlahan-lahan menjadi dhuha, lalu menjadi tengah hari, petang dan akan malam lagi. Begitunya siang berubah,hari demi hari – dengan cepat.

Personal, Study, UPM, Work

An Avid Reader

Has been two days since I was officially here. UPM is super large, yes larger than UNIMAS I think. I might lost in this big environment, thanks to Sakinah for preventing that to happen. Talking about Sakinah, she looks way different now compared to four or five years ago. I couldn’t brain why she happened to grow taller and I tragically, have to look up higher talking to her especially when I wore flat shoe like today! She said maybe I grew shorter. Okay, maybe.

She looks more matured than me, laugh a little bit lower than me. Talk a little bit less than me. Since her name is Sakinah which means “peace” in Arabic, it reflects on her personality. I always agree with her parents’ choice of naming her as Sakinah because she always been a calm person since I have first met her.

After five years of not meeting each other, I am struggling to put my awkwardness aside. You know, when you meet your old friend and suddenly you’ve become close again, it feels like..it takes time to be really comfortable again.I don’t know about others but I do feel it. Haha but after all, it feels good to reunite again.

About the room, it is double room. Staying with me are two Degree’s students, doing their short sem. To compare with UNIMAS’s college, urm I preferred UNIMAS’s.  But then again, I shouldn’t compare with anything. I am choosing to be here, so let face and bear everything! It is a real hostel life, and I have to evolve myself as a true hostelian – except the fact that it wasn’t a dorm, packed with 10 or more persons. Heh

Today, Prof assigned me to meet Mr Chan to have a quick brief regarding the project. For RA, I’m gonna involve in Extraction of Palm Oil from PKC for Commercial and Health reason, majoring in subcritical water extraction and microemulsion WHICH I had no idea at all. Brilliant.

So, I met Mr Chan. He spoke a fluent English (everybody here does!) and having background of mostly Chemistry. So by now, you know I will be surrounded by Chemistry thingy, he even reminded me the fact that I should study all the related facts and theories back again.

On the way heading UPM with my sis yesterday, I told her “Kak, I will be an avid reader starting tomorrow” and today – as I wished.

May Allah makes it easy for me, InsyaAllah.

student room,

Institute of Bioscience (UPM)




Sakinah has been so kind! She even helped to find a room for me.

I got a lot of old friends at UPM including F, my classmate back then in my secondary school. I remembered how he confessed to me after SPM ended.

I wasn’t expected at all that he likes me because I wasn’t much of a talker. He said he liked the way I teached him English (our teacher assigned me to).

He is having someone right now, so I shouldn’t afraid of meeting him someday somewhere at UPM, right?


Oatmeal cookies

Prolly I caught flu due to the rain. Now barely breathe I got my nose stuck! Anyway, good that I’m home, not bonded with any official work commitment, perhaps it gives me a plenty of times for speedy recovery.

Nothing stopped me from trying my new recipe. Haha today it is oatmeal with dates and choc chips cookies. Cookies again! I just love love cookies, I don’t know what to do with myself.

If I weigh 45kg , I would eat cookies like a cookie monster every second, everyday. Haha but no its never happened.

45 kg? Dream on.

Rant aside, so here is the little guy :


Finally, I have baked something I could be proud of (because it was so easy that’s why). You should try this! Crunchy at the outside and chewy inside.

I’m quite impressive with oatmeal alone, it can turn out great when combine with other ingredients. Such a decent flour substitution. Suitable for those who need to watch their weight while eating guilty foodie like this cookies.

Till then, just pray I will be free from fever.

OGAWA, Personal, Work

Last day work

So, my last day of working isn’t shared here yet, aren’t I? It has been a week since I left my beloved work ; the most beloved one among others I would say (and still missing it!). I just told certain people that I will leave while others had no idea where on earth Izni had disappeared to after 30 June. Haha. I’m not good at saying good byes and leaving secretly is the most decent thing I could do.


I’m worried for Tikah.

She lost her best-listener and I wonder what would happened with her brain-tumor-boyfriend. I wished I was there to listen her more, my prayers for her. May Allah open her heart to start praying as she wished.

After all, it is a great 5 months journey! Hope I will remember every life lessons learned along the period.

P/s : I started to miss playing basketball with Chris with our One Ringgit.


“And HE found you lost and guided you”

I was moved by an incident yesterday night. It’s been a long time since I last felt it. And to be able to feel it again is a moment I shouldn’t take for granted. I don’t know what I’m thinking about yesterday but I felt helplessly worried on everything. From the Master degree, to the ages that keep hiking, and everything worldly. I was thinking where would I be in the next 5 years, what should I do to centralize myself in line with the other normal living people, and the worries just go on until I reached the mosque where I usually perform my Isya’ and Taraweeh prayers.

The angelic voice of Imaam who started the rak’ah with Al Baqarah stabbed me right on my heart cavity. The surah never fail to give me comfort I needed, reminds me of what I’ve forgot.

ALLAH doesn’t burden a soul beyond that it can bear..

The verse hit me the most. Obviously,  Allah speaks up to me, to the whole jamaah and world, that things that you’re experiencing- the difficulties, the blessings and everything that you feel and have is not more than a test. If you’re facing difficulties, forget not that they’re not that problematic. The world is temporary, what makes you think your problem is permanent?

And my worries flew away, like the rain flush out the sticky muds.

Stay strong.




Personal, Wordless

If it was easy,.

Food, Personal

Pizookie (Baker I’m Not)

When I first met this recipe on web and youtube, I thought hey, this could be something. It is soo easy and simple like you just need several ingredients and maybe just maybe it suits me, this innocent non-baker-hand girl. It seemed super delicious (and lots calorie not to mention!) that I saved the url and make it as reality today.


Before bake


The result! It is called pizookie. Cookies in pizza-way. Topping with ice cream ♡

It was so easy, you should try out! (refer to the recipe on the url I mentioned above).

Except for me, non baker hand and mind; it turns out super hard and dry. A little bit overcooked. When I topped with the ice cream and left it like 4 hours, then it started to soften. On top of that, everything is yummehh. Such an irresistible guilty pleasure.

So, for my future man do not expect me to bake you cake, pudding, and whatnot. We can just order anything through anything available. We can sit and enjoy them together without wasting time for baking things. Agree?

Food, Love, Personal



She helped me a lot! Thanks for being a very good sister. Couldn't imagine how we grew up this fast


Although it was super pricey for two, I thought let me reward myself after all what I’ve gone through along the day. Talking about sushi, I am one big fan! I have always think to eat sushi, haru, tomi, bento and everything on the menu, everyday.

I remembered those moments when Denah and I promised to let-out our craving by eating ONLY one plate of sushi, and ended up eating more! Haha. And we shared money to pay the bill. Those times..I missed hanging out with her.