Alhamdulillah, all praise to Allah! KC just handed this to me today, and she asked me if I’m okay with her and the whole company. I nodded yes. And I asked her back, is she okay with me? Well, that was unplanned. She is my Country Manager, what I’m thinking?
She said for now, yeah she’s okay. Actually I’m okay if she or anybody else is not okay with me. I don’t care. I have a stack of confidences to live by my own. (Ah, izni being cocky, just kidding, lets be good with each other!)
Just received our QMS Score later today. It was my first time receiving it as a permanent staff. The score is not bad though, I think I scored well. I will get my car on Friday and will be going to Kedah by Saturday. I might have to embrace myself for any over-tired feeling. Some more, tomorrow is the last day of the month, still have to work on my monthly target. I still need to fill up the self-evaluation form, KC urged me to submit it before I left for raya leaves.
Near midnight, hopefully every prayers of us will be granted, may us be a better slave of HIM tomorrow onwards, InsyaAllah.
I spent my weekend just as I loved to. Stay alone in my room, on my bed ; facing the window covered by this orange curtain, with some sunshine tried to penetrate it during the day, and became pitch dark when the night came.
I finished up Tuesdays with Morrie, and some old movies in my laptop. The book was not bad and the movies were quite lame but I just watched ’em anyhow. I don’t know what I’m thinking now.
I can spend my time like this every day and every seconds if I want. But you know, life’s a bitch. You gotta work to make a living.
I will have my own car in less than 2 weeks! I went to the car centre all alone, settling my bank loan myself, wow Izni, you must be growing matured these days. O Allah, grant my prayers and make my life easy. Ameen
How do I start this? I feel like I wanna start keeping a diary again after so many years passing without having one. I don’t know, I feel like my life is too attached to my work loads and practical things around me until I feel soulless and lack of internal reflection(?), ugh whatever but yeah, the right word is – soulless. I am so gonna start a journal tomorrow, just like what I’ve been used to few years back.
Life is a great journey, indeed. No matter how surprised you got by life, it is a growing journey, brought to you with a pack of useful lessons for your future reference. It is a maturity lines and through it you started to know yourself better, you’re growing matured.
June has been a surprising month. I managed to secure a place at BCI Asia (my working place right now (Alhamdulillah), and I’ve lost my car (Alhamdulillah), and I am ready of what is coming. Life is full of surprise and none of them passed without any lessons.
My little cutie car, I truly hope you are fine. 2 days without you,. I feel like I lost my best friend. Starting to miss you. I pray they won’t do anything bad for you. If they do..I hope they don’t. You are the best thing I’ve ever had you must know that. Thank you for being with me all these years, I won’t forget any single moment with you. If you can come back, come back into my arms, if not..never mind. Nothing permanent in this world and I have to accept the fact.
Everything happens for a reason. All praise to Allah, it is weird to say this – but I feel a little closer to HIM after I’ve lost my beloved car. Not because I hope by being close to HIM would make it returns, no. It was like..time has stopped for a while and HE throws a little serenity in my heart. Like HE wakes up my sleeping heart and warms the cold part. In a silent prayers after Maghrib last night, I asked HIM, “Why do YOU still gives me a second chance to repent while I committed sins that I knew they are wrong. Would you accept me again if I want to come back to YOU? Would YOU accept me again this time?”
I asked HIM.
and guess what happened?
It happened to be, the first verse of Quran I read is Surah An-Nahl Verse 119; continued from where I last read before. When I read the verse, I was like..subhanallah. HE is listening to me. HE is listening to this sinful creature.
An-Nahl ; Verse 119 – HE instantly answers me, precisely.
Then, indeed your Lord, to those who have done wrong out of ignorance and then repent after that and correct themselves – indeed, your Lord, thereafter, is forgiving and Merciful.
It is amazing that I feel loved again. Thanks Allah, I promise I will try my very best to correct myself, perhaps you will accept me even more. Guide me to the straight path, and bring me to someone that can make me a better slave of yours.
I remembered a verse in Quran (50:16) saying – “..and indeed We have created man, and We know whatever thoughts his inner self develops, and We are closer to him than (his) jugular vein “.