2016 in review

  1. 2016 is a struggle year for me. A struggle to find my own path, to really discover what I’m gonna do with my life-and I fought hard, and somehow was able to see a little sunshine at the end of that dark tunnel.
  2. Early 2016, I’ve done something unexpected. I totally quit my Master Degree because I don’t really like the idea of it. It is a decision that I’ll never forget. That would be an evergreen record in my life, remembering how far I can go just to make myself happy again.
  3. When reality hits me hard, I realized I should be playing a ‘role’ in this very society. It was when I started to push myself to search for a job to make a better living. I decided to stay longer in one place, and see the potential it brings.
  4. ..and I did. I stayed in this current company for like uhm 10 months now. Such a huge achievement of myself! (Instead of my 3-days-working experience back then 5-6 years ago 😛 )
  5. After 5 months of working, I bought a decent car, Alhamdulillah. The process of buying the car was somehow..weird and unexpected though. After my beloved Kancil lost when I parked around my apartment (I miss you buddy!), my sister’s car involved in an accident. So, we had no transport for quite some times (since we’re not in Kedah), hence I was thinking to buy one, and the next morning, I took Uber straight to the Car Showroom Centre. I was eyeing this particular car, and decided to buy it on the spot. I settled all the documents needed, and within 3 days, I got my first car after 24 years old. And all the process of buying the car, all by myself. Alone. But I enjoyed the experience well!
  6. Started to learn how to say NO. Well, this is something that I’m still trying to master. I’m an easy person, so anything that doesn’t harm me I tend to just say Yes. But you know, there are some things in life you should say No to.
  7. Most importantly, I know I grew so much in this year. With all the the things that I got through along this year, I believe I have become a stronger person in every aspect. I started to have a stable foundation of self-confident, I believe in myself when people around me refused to. I love myself more, and I do the best for myself.
  8. I knew someone that I think I wanna settle down with. But there would be a great challenge ahead if I decided to do so. I don’t really know if I can cope with what’s coming, but yeah let’s see.
  9. With about 15 minutes before my birthdate, Happy 24th Bithday for me! I’m still busy with my working stuffs during this hour, but I love it, so no issue 😀
  10. These past 2 years were great. I would never forget all those journey.

With that, let the saying of Nayyirah Waheed stirs up your soul for a while:

“if
the ocean
can calm itself,
so can you.
we
are both
salt water
mixed with
air”.

  {I don’t really get why – we are both salt water mixed with air- but I love this quote so much! It connects me to something..to ocean? Idk.}

 

To the new comers in the office

Recently we received quite a number of new staffs, and our department seemed like something big is happening. Busy like a bee and I have to be a mentor to one of them. The new comers, reminded me of my self, 10 months ago when I just started to join the company.

Thinking about how far I’ve been now (I still couldn’t brain how I can stay for 10 months in the same place), feel like wanna remind them on a few things that I used to remind myself back then :

1. Show that you’re interested as hell. Fake it until you make it.

2. Some things are better left unsaid. Think before you speak.

3. Be friendly. Always be friendly. If you don’t know how to socialize, you better learn the art of it. Show your friendliness  when necessary.

4. Most importantly, be a fast learner. Learn and absorb new lessons fast. Otherwise, world will leave you behind.

5. Be confident. Show you’re vulnerable. Show people they made a correct decision to hire you and you’ll not waste the chance.

6. Be progressive. Be better. Don’t be afraid to make mistakes. Be afraid of not learning from them. Live your life for you not for anyone else. Don’t let the fear of being judged, rejected or disliked stop you from being yourself.

Before the list goes on and on, so I’ll put a full stop here, for now.

Have a blissful Friday everyone. Long weekend is coming!

Ultimate confusion

Dealing with an egoistic person, can make yourself drowning into a confusion. If they made mistakes, instead of saying ‘Yes, I made mistake, can you forgive me and give me one more chance?” they tend to say “It is a mistake, leave me for a while, I need my time”.

And, if you still wanna them in your life, you’ll find yourself clearing the air which supposed to be their responsibility. You’ll find yourself saying sorry yada yada yada just to bring back the good will because you know if you let it as it be, things will just remain the same for centuries. They would never try to lower down their pride and ego to make things right. So, even if you think it is not your fault (it really is) you’ll get confused why would you do all these like it was your fault. You lowered down your ego but they are still viewing you as the most terrible person in the world, and lost interest in you – which supposed to be vise versa. What an ultimate confusion.

If you don’t love them, and decided to throw them away after what had happened, you won’t bother to lower down your own ego and make things right. Instead, you’ll wait until they come to their sense and finally will say something warm which can make you accept them back (but you know it’s not going to happen).

So, my friend, that is how you found yourself trapped in a puzzle full of self-confusion when dealing with such personality. It is because you love them, you ignored your own pride; which sometimes kill you from inside, slowly. Even though you were so mad and need a sort of consolation, you consoled yourself and get your shit together- and say sorry to those who wronged you? Goodness, what a world. To make it more crazy, you don’t even mind doing all these. I guess, it is how powerful love can be.

or maybe it is just a plain stupidity that long-buried in yourself. Anyhow, when you delved into this below quote, maybe you are not that bad. Yea, you’re not that bad.

Forgiveness is the best form of love. It takes a strong person to say sorry and an even stronger person to forgive.