Mess

After I snapped some mesmerizing pictures of golden sunrise with a good half of Air Asia’s flight wing in it after I touched down my homeland, my phone fell down pretty bad, and I reached home just to realised that I lost my SD Card!

Dayyymmm.

With that, I’ve lost all the pictures, and some important apps like MyDays, Wunderlist, and WordPress. I don’t care about others, but man, Wunderlist! I stored all the important passwords (I’m helpless in remembering my own passwords) and a lot of important notes in there.

..including this little blog’s password.

Great izni. Great.

But after all, my 6-years-old strong phone is still alive. Thanks baby for bearing with all the mess your owner made. You’re the best! ♡♡♡

Edit (1 August 2017) – Got back my Wunderlist data. Because it is an app based on account, so when I logged in, everything is there. Yasss

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Remarks of the day

I thought I should record what had happened today. 

1. I broke my beloved wireless (and pricy) headset into two. I really, really, really love the headset because it is a birthday present from me to myself. I’m such a Hulk, dammit. Ugh.

2. Office’s Syawal celebration. They combined with wrap up meeting, event meeting, birthday celebration and games. Games? I don’t want to believe it was happening but it is the fact. 

I mean we are so chasing after the shortfalls and all, but suddenly we were playing those childish games.

He’s back

He has finally come back.

I hope he knows how thankful I am having him around. Seeing him feels like home to me. Warm, and some kind of familiar feeling I couldn’t really put into words. I am still feeling like he’s far away at times, partly maybe because I was already get used to it since 2 months ago. I want to be always in front of his eyes, talking, laughing, and even in silence – in every way possible – I want to be with him.

Thanks for coming back. We are now in the same time zone (yes!). I don’t want to annoy you and be selfish but if possible, I wanna always, always be by your side during your good and bad times. Wanna reach you always, checking how you’re doing. But let me pretend I am cool.

I am cool. Yeah, lemme repeat it to myself.

Of glass, steel and skyline

Architecture is indeed a frozen music. 

Yesterday we went to Archidex17 at KLCC; just like last year except this time around, we were divided into 2 groups since our team is growing big. It is an annual industry trade event for the architecture, interior design and building fraternity. When KC expected us to mingle around building some network, we (I) mainly focused on those cool high-tech material products and yass of course, collecting goodies bags.

We took MRT on our way back and it was my first experience. It felt like I’m doing some kind of marathon, walking non stop and continue with Sime Darby’s open house at their convention centre. Managed to snap some pretty pictures, I am into this kind of scenery lately. I can’t help loving buildings and their perfect and imperfect edges since I am working in that field now.

Sime Darby’s open house is no kidding man. Way out of our expectation. Too much foods! You name it, from traditional to modern cuisine, Malay’s to Indian’s..they got it all. After we felt like we can’t even move quite properly (because we were too full), we headed back home.

I slept early and called it a day.

These pictures are too good not to share. Shapes, edges, designs, skyline and B&W – what not to love about it?


What’s happening?

Today started off just like every other day. Pretty normal, rushed to do my breakfast on the kitchen counter while glancing at the clock displayed on my cracked screen phone, which sometimes it crossed my mind to change this baby to a new Samsung S8, my forever crush – but that would cost me nearly 5k, which is a big, bold No No for now. I would rather use the money to travel or whatsoever, but anyway, breakfast went well. I walked out quite early remembering all of my unfinished tasks in the office. I tried to finish it last night but Fizah kept sitting beside me, observing every single movement I made on my laptop. Lol.

Then, weird things started to happen.

When I was walking, I realised I forgot my water bottle (if you know me, water bottle is like my twin, so me forgetting it, seemed..kinda unusual) . Not just that, I also forgot my charger and my wireless headphone started to beep; showing its flat battery. So, it was a silent walk, without music. Beautiful morning nonetheless.

KC, my Manager emailed me yesterday that Christine, the Marketing Manager wanted to observe me doing my work. She is in Marketing, I couldn’t fathom why she needs to know about my work, but anyway I agreed. Who am I to disagree with KC? It would be a futile argument if I protest. We agreed that she will sit beside me starting from 10 am.

It was 10 am and she didn’t show up. I went to her place and confidently asked “Christine, it’s 10 am, you are going to sit beside me, right?”, Then she looked kinda blur..and YZ in front of her seat said “Erm, I think Christine went to the Singapore office for a training today”. I looked at Christine (as in my assumption)..and realized she is not Christine! I mistook her as Christine because their figure and all are seriously alike. I know Christine, and even talked to her some time ago. Then, I replied “Ouh really? I thought she will have a session with me? How come she went to Singapore?”, then I just thanked them and walked to my desk. I was so embarrassed, why I mistook Joanna as Christine. Shame!

I sat on my chair and emailed KC about the matter. I replied with something like “YZ informed me that Christine went to Singapore, maybe we can arrange some other time when she’s back”. Confident. Sent.

It just happened that I re-read her email, and guess what; it supposed to be on this coming Friday. Not freaking today. What I was hassling about? Then I sent the email back to KC telling her that I thought it is today. Double shame.

I mean, what’s wrong with me? Things couldn’t get weirder than this!

..and this earl grey tea to calm me down. Still can’t move on.

Before lunch

An hour to go before lunch.

I am getting hungry faster these few days (pi-em-es) and by feeling hungry, I can’t focus on anything (work, obviously) and went back and forth to the pantry to find some snacks. Someone put a box of Black Earl Grey Tea and I decided to try.

Not a fan of Earl Grey Tea because well, it’s expensive and I seldom try one. But after I tried the black tea, I fell in love with the fragrance and it has a beautiful tea essence if you get what I mean.  Even without sugar (I rarely drink tea with sugar) it tastes perfectly nice! So nice that I think I will grab a box if I find it anywhere.

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While waiting for lunch, I feast on biscuits while reading Quora.

In the meanwhile, I just can’t wait to see AB. Missing him since the entire time. 3 days away and why am I nervous?

 

Thursday 

Hey, morning. Thursday morning and I can smell the sweet weekend already! 

I put this little blog under private at the moment because I’m still the same person (surprisingly after so many years) who obviously still feel kinda insecure and suffocate and confuse about stuffs that shouldn’t make me so. I hid this blog temporarily because just like the blog, I feel the same. I want to hide from everything for now. Until it heals. Until I am able to unlock the bitterness and numbness of my little, poor heart. 

I know it’s immature but whatever. 

Even more rants

This week has been so hectic. Too much things to do within short times. Felt like I almost lost my grip but I left with no choice but to continue hanging on. Passed my job evaluation and we are now in a new fiscal year. A memo sent by our Country Manager saying that our salary will only be deposited at the last day of the month starting this month pissed me off quite badly. I am disappointed and even raised this issue during my job evaluation. And my Manager calmly replied with “So, you have to control to avoid overspending”. I was like, don’t teach me on this, lady. She continued, “..but that doesn’t mean you wanna resign, right?”. 

Well, I can’t really say it. 

Manager gave a few feedbacks on my performance along my working period and asked me if I have any more things to raised up. The fact that she didn’t treat me fair enough few months back – the thought was just lingered around at the back of my mind alas it never passed my mouth. I knew she was trying to give N chance but why everytime when it comes to me, she treated me as if I am capable of everything in the world? I mean, giving people so many chances in certain things but still no change or improvement, what’s the damn point?

And the event things, you know it will be happening in coming August, just why on earth you didn’t highlight the tasks at the very early stage? Now it’s 2 weeks away and it is such a big mess when you push us to get the number up. With the crazy client’s enquiries piling up on me, and increasing of my target shortfalls daily, I just can’t wait for all these things to end. Not sure if I can walk out alive after all the storms ended. 

Paid my roadtax and I am literally broke now. Haha! Iriz is now a year plus already and to be honest, owning a car this fast had never crossed my mind after I graduated. I was kind of person who used to believe I should buy a house first, then a car. But I realised it is not easy and I couldn’t imagine living without transportation. So, whatever. Car first, house later. Car is a need, not a “want” anymore in this 21st century. 

Fizah is taking care of me like a baby, really. Everyday, she will ask me what I want to eat (she wants to cook & eat with me, using most of her groceries, leaving mine unused) and if I come home late, she will ask my whereabouts. She told me she is happy being with me. I am happy too, but sometimes it is tiring. 

I am glad when someone finds me comforting to be around. She really feed me well. I remembered she always cook me dishes with cockles just because she knew it is my fav! She has been too kind and I have no idea what I’d done to deserve that kind of treat. But still, sometimes I found it “restricted” if you know what I mean. 

Even with all the chaos, I still find myself feeling lonely. It is never wrong to admit that you’re lonely because its legit. It is not a low self esteem, nope. Not even pathetic. Loneliness is real and I kinda tired of being lonely. Me too longing for someone to lean on during good and bad times, to listen to all what I’ve got to rant at the end of my day. So, yeah. Even with all the luxuries Adam had back then in the Jannah, he still felt incomplete without his Eve. 

With that, I think this is the longest post in this month (or in this year?). 

Adios.

Can’t wait to get a dose (or two or moree) of this Thai Iced Tea during weekend. It soothes my stress! I love it unconditionally. So good I can’t explain it! ♡♡♡