Dear Confused Fizah,
From what I heard and saw, I know how difficult it is for you to face this sad reality. That’s the sad truth about life my dear friend- people come and go no matter how hard you want them to stay. When A left our rent apartment, I knew exactly how empty you felt as you were very close to her and hence, you turned to me, started to be my best buddy. Juggling between my job and another job, I knew lately, we were not as close as we used to, plus with a bunch of my new roommates who were also started to get close to me – I started to feel bad if you’ve ever felt left out. In fact, you were already feeling that as you told me that night when I returned home late & tired, hanging out at our usual couch.
You told me that you are missing A so bad, and that you are not too compatible with my new roommates. Also, with your current work pressure – you are afraid of facing the work load since your manager soon will resign; you are not confident to step further in your career due to your health condition. You also mentioned how bad it is to be at 26, but going nowhere in your life. I can see the sadness and insecurity at the edge of your eyes. It’s dark like an abandoned tunnel.
I lost count on how many times I said that it’s okay for us to be where we are now. Everyone has their own pace, and growing up is not determined solely by how much our salary is, or what kind of position we hold in the company. The level of life is not that narrow. Instead, take the challenges as a way to grow up and gain new experience and knowledge. I know it is hard, sometimes to be positive when everything seemed to be wrong and plain. But trust me, just chin up and walk through all the storms. You will be surprise on how capable you are, and that you are actually, not that bad. Be confident in facing whatever life has brought to you. Get a grip on yourself.
People come and go. That’s what happened in my room, to say the least. In a year, my roommates keep changing at least 2 times. I’ve lost my best mate, Salina before. I was so close with her and we shared the same thought and mind, but when she said she needed to move out for good, I didn’t feel lost and accept that maybe it is good for her to move out. It’s her life after all. Growing up, I learn to detach because apparently, people and things are impermanent. We can’t let our fate of happiness determined by the existence of something or someone. Happiness needs to be found within ourselves. It is more than that you know. I am not all positive and perfect myself, but I am learning to fathom the art of living, and I think you should too. Perhaps what you can do now is to step out from your insecurity zone, believe in yourself and just walk on the flaring fire.
Feeling empty when A left? – It’s her life. You got yours too.
Not compatible with the new comers? – Try to adapt, otherwise you can always live by yourself. No one is forcing you to be best friend with them. Just a simple hi and bye will do, I guess?
Work load? – See it as a chance to shine!
As the saying goes..
And once the storm is over you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, in fact, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about.
Hope you will be just fine 🙂
Still your best friend.