Hopeless Prison

When it comes to Murakami’s books, I tend to take a longer time to finish. By ‘longer’ I mean, maybe more than 5 – 6 months since 1. I read books during selective weekend / night. 2. I love how he put things into picture until it seemed alive and as if the words themselves are talking to me hence I tend to have a lot of my kind-of- silent-moment upon his brilliant elaboration (I guess that what made him as a legendary writer). His words hit the right spot and yeah, he really is an excellent author no doubt about it.

In Colorless Tsukuru Tazaki and His Years of Pilgrimage, when Tsukuru dreamt he was in a great jealousy for the first time in his life, Murakami successfully (at least in my view) inserted “jealousy” into a vivid frame. It just feels the same like what I sometimes feel and finally, I found the right word – most hopeless prison. Being in state of jealousy is like being in a hopeless prison that you stepped in yourself. No matter how suffocated you are in the prison, you insist to stay for some odd reasons.

“Jealousy—at least as far as he understood it from his dream—was the most hopeless prison in the world. Jealousy was not a place he was forced into by someone else, but a jail in which the inmate entered voluntarily, locked the door, and threw away the key. And not another soul in the world knew he was locked inside. Of course if he wanted to escape he could do so. The prison, was after all, his own heart. But he couldn’t make that decision. His heart was as hard as a stone wall. This was the very essence of jealousy.” 

..exactly !


to many more posts about his quotes.

2016 in review

  1. 2016 is a struggle year for me. A struggle to find my own path, to really discover what I’m gonna do with my life-and I fought hard, and somehow was able to see a little sunshine at the end of that dark tunnel.
  2. Early 2016, I’ve done something unexpected. I totally quit my Master Degree because I don’t really like the idea of it. It is a decision that I’ll never forget. That would be an evergreen record in my life, remembering how far I can go just to make myself happy again.
  3. When reality hits me hard, I realized I should be playing a ‘role’ in this very society. It was when I started to push myself to search for a job to make a better living. I decided to stay longer in one place, and see the potential it brings.
  4. ..and I did. I stayed in this current company for like uhm 10 months now. Such a huge achievement of myself! (Instead of my 3-days-working experience back then 5-6 years ago 😛 )
  5. After 5 months of working, I bought a decent car, Alhamdulillah. The process of buying the car was somehow..weird and unexpected though. After my beloved Kancil lost when I parked around my apartment (I miss you buddy!), my sister’s car involved in an accident. So, we had no transport for quite some times (since we’re not in Kedah), hence I was thinking to buy one, and the next morning, I took Uber straight to the Car Showroom Centre. I was eyeing this particular car, and decided to buy it on the spot. I settled all the documents needed, and within 3 days, I got my first car after 24 years old. And all the process of buying the car, all by myself. Alone. But I enjoyed the experience well!
  6. Started to learn how to say NO. Well, this is something that I’m still trying to master. I’m an easy person, so anything that doesn’t harm me I tend to just say Yes. But you know, there are some things in life you should say No to.
  7. Most importantly, I know I grew so much in this year. With all the the things that I got through along this year, I believe I have become a stronger person in every aspect. I started to have a stable foundation of self-confident, I believe in myself when people around me refused to. I love myself more, and I do the best for myself.
  8. I knew someone that I think I wanna settle down with. But there would be a great challenge ahead if I decided to do so. I don’t really know if I can cope with what’s coming, but yeah let’s see.
  9. With about 15 minutes before my birthdate, Happy 24th Bithday for me! I’m still busy with my working stuffs during this hour, but I love it, so no issue 😀
  10. These past 2 years were great. I would never forget all those journey.

With that, let the saying of Nayyirah Waheed stirs up your soul for a while:

the ocean
can calm itself,
so can you.
are both
salt water
mixed with

  {I don’t really get why – we are both salt water mixed with air- but I love this quote so much! It connects me to something..to ocean? Idk.}


Tools to think creatively

1. Believe it can be done. Eliminate “impossible”, “won’t work”, “can’t do”, “no use trying” from your thinking and vocabs.

2. Don’t let tradition paralyze your mind. Be receptive to new ideas. Be experimental, try new approaches. Be progressive in everything you do.

3. Ask yourself daily, “How can I do better?”. There’s no limit to self-improvement.

4. Ask yourself, “How can I do more?”. Capacity is a state of mind.

5. Practice asking and listening. Big people monopolize the listening; small people monopolize the talking.

6. Stretch your mind. Get stimulated. Associate with people who can help you think of new ideas, new ways of doing things. 

-The Magic of Thinking Big (David J. Schwartz) 

By just believing..

I’ve been saving this draft for quite some times. Life has been quite good, or is it just me being over-confident that everything is good? Anyway, I believe everything is good – will be good ; that everything harsh will settle down, every bad things will slowly find its exit way. That aside, as the title denoted, I just feel like writing something about belief . About when you strongly believe that something is not that impossible, somehow they will turn out possible!

Now, believe in me. Do strongly believe in everything that you disbelieved. Thanks to this small book named “The Magic of Thinking Big”, I’m not that kind of person who usually invest my time reading motivation book! Tell you the truth, Izni is a kind of person who shitly say “whatever” after reading one-or-two-pages of a typical motivation book. But this book – it’s an exceptional. How to put it, urm its like when you hate eating ice cream (me not!) but when a special someone hands you an ice cream, the feeling..is somehow different. Ok, what’s the point of the comparison?!

Anyway, here goes the true content.

This book, is a must-read book for everybody. The way David puts the word together – I’m on fire. I have no idea how by just believing that “you can do it” can be that powerful. Even if you think you have no capability of achieving certain things, when you started to plant a strong belief in yourself, everything will turn out smoothly. You’ll be surprised when you look back someday, that things you thought was impossible, is now achievable.

How it affects me? 2 weeks ago, in my working place, I basically gave up on my self. You know, work loads. I have that evil thought in my mind that “I can’t do it. It is impossible. I don’t know how to do this. I’m done.” But then, I remembered that I read this book. Why not implementing those rumors that by believing you can, you actually can. Ahaks. That cheesy quote, I said. Let’s try.

I tried.

Things get better, to my surprise. I don’t know how to describe it, but really, things starting to get better. I achieved that particular thing that I once thought impossible! No kidding, you better believe in your self now. Like really, please believe you’re capable of anything. Be confident. Do not let anything breaks you. You got a dream, you gotta protect it.  Copy that?

One of the thousand bombs that sticks onto my mind is that –

Think success, don’t think failure. At work, in your home, substitute success thinking for failure thinking. When you face a difficult situation, think, “I’ll win”, not “I’ll probably lose”.

When you compete with someone else, think, I’m equal to the best,” not “I’m outclassed.”.

When opportunity appears, really think “I can do it”, never “I can’t”.

Let the master thought “I will succeed” dominate your mind to create plans that produce success. Thinking failure does the exact opposite. Failure thinking conditions the mind to think other thoughts that produce failure.

It does sounds like an easy peasy command when one said Believe in yourself! – but when you really practice it, you will know.

Enough of that long rant. I will definitely write something about the book again, InsyaAllah. Next time, let consider uploading the book’s cover, I’m just too lazy to snap anything now.

Anyway, thanks for those who read! Drop me some comment or better yet a marriage proposal. I will consider it. Okbye.

A course summary: Job Hunting using Jobstreet & LinkedIn

Following my experience attending Ameirul Azraie’s mini course, here is what I can conclude.


  1. Strength of weak ties

Weak ties simply means “ a friend of a friend” that possibly can help you to land the job you want. For example, you want to work at XX Company and you found A who is currently working at the same company. You can ask A for help, and at the same time you should try to email the HR of the company. If you manage to find B who works there as well, ask for his help too. Or even C, D and E – do not feel reluctant to ask for their help even they are not in your friend list. Usually, recruiter will pick someone who stands out, or with such proactive mean. It will look like “Oh, this person has been recommended by three peoples!”

  1. Know how to write!

This is the crucial part of all. Job hunter must be good at words. Whenever you want to email someone for a job application, do not leave the body content empty. Write up a good, brief notes on how you know about the vacancy, who are you, what is your speciality and convince them why you are suitable for the position. Do not attach your cover letter, make it as your email body. Bear in mind, recruiter will just spend about 5 minutes to decide based on your email notes. So, make a pitch there.

  1. LinkedIn

As a professional job hunter, try to create a good LinkedIn profile. Connect with the potential recruiter. If you have one now, try to click at the ‘Job’ alongside ‘Home’ and ‘Profile’. Besides searching for the job vacancy at ‘Job’ section, filling your particulars on your profile is equally vital. Once you want to apply this particular job, click at the Job Poster and connect with them. Better yet, drop them a personal message or email saying you are interested on the job ad. Attached another copy of your CV, make a pitch at the body content and good luck!

  1. Jobstreet

Well, I bet Jobstreet is now your best friend? Okay, the first thing you should do is to read the job description. Do not just hit the “Apply” button without having any idea on the job description. After you’ve read it, use it in Make-your-pitch section. Try to match your competency with what is needed in that position. Here comes KSA concept. Show off your Knowledge, Skills and Ability and how it will benefit the company. Make it short and strong.

Keep checking your application dashboard. If it is stated that your resume has been viewed, do not sit in silence. Do something. For a bold you, you might call the company or if it takes forever for you to hit the dial button, you can just email them – attach a copy of CV and convince them again. Mention that your resume has been viewed as stated at the web.

  1. Practice makes perfect

Don’t know where and what to start with? Keep calm, things will not getting better without practice. Try to write up some nice sentences, keep learning from the thousands website out there, keep improving your CV – make it not more that two pages – alter the unnecessary things and practice the manners of emailing.

I believe you can get through this!


Have faith. Do not lose hope and keep trying.

Maybe a reason why all the doors are closed
So you could open one that leads you to the perfect road
Like a lightning bolt, your heart will glow
And when it’s time you’ll know



Tuesdays with Morrie #1


“Mitch”, he said,

“We are so wrapped up with egotistical things, career, family, having enough money, meeting the mortgage, getting a new car,fixing the radiator when it breaks – we are involved in trillions of little acts just to keep going. So we don’t get into the habit of standing back and looking at our lives and saying, Is this all? Is this all I want? Is something missing?”

“One day, you will get your dream job”

It was nearly midnight when I was re-tidying my resume. You know, I have been always seeking for a reliable answer for all those little questions that used to pop up in my mind. I’m seeking the best way to present myself in those freaking one-to-two pages; named resume or CV. Whether I should put up my photo (some said NEVER, some said MUST, so I was confused!) the best template and design, how and what to write etc. I’ve been thinking about one person who might answer that.

He is Ameirul Azraie. (Never heard bout him? No worries, Google will do) Go google now. 

One of the persons that I believe, he will has the answers that I needed. I was thinking, Ya Allah, it is good if I can meet him in person so that I can ask him whatever I want to know about job searching and resume.

And guess what?

Not more than 5 minutes, I saw a post on my Facebook timeline.

“Seminar of Job Hunting using Jobstreet and LinkedIn by Ameirul Azraie”. “Tomorrow”.“5 more peoples needed”. “Register now”.“Bangi” – oh great! I was at my sister’s house at Bangi.

I blinked my eyes as if it was a dream. After confirmed that it was real (haha!) I registered and pay for it online. For RM 3O only, I was happy like a small kid having an ice cream. Couldn’t be more grateful. Allah is indeed The Best Listener.

So, the next morning, I drove all the way to the stated venue and for the very first time, I met him face to face. God knows how, I met my Aquatic juniors too. They greeted and waved me “Kak Izni!” and I was like, “okay, great, who are them? Seemed familiar” haha and after using my skills of investigating, it was confirmed that they are my juniors. It was unexpected that among 10 participants included me, two of them are my juniors. I mean, what a small world.

Had a great time attending the 3 hours-course. He taught us the manners on how to make use of Jobstreet and LinkedIn to apply for a job position. My questions was answered, and returned home happy, rewarded myself with a bowl of ice cream.

From the seminar, I learned that it is not how competence you’re in a particular field or how much work experiences you got, but more importantly is – how your inaudible attitude speaks about you. The way you represent yourself, and how you ‘sell’ what you got in you, is what will make them impress.

For anybody who’s struggling to settle for a job, do not lose hope. You have to keep believing and try your very best. One day, you will be finally manage to get your dream job, build a good base for yourself and on top of everything, you’ll be fine.

For now, just don’t lose hope. Cheers.