I’m staring at the mess I made

Woke up, started today off with such a good and vibrant mood. I don’t know what and how it is, but something makes me happy. I don’t know what was that something though but I felt so energetic and very determine to live my life today. I was about to finish everything up since CKW needs the results for him to write and present them in a meeting board maybe, I don’t know. I just left with a few more errands and targeted to finish up everything by the end of this week.

Today was my second time dealing with the flammable, devil methanol. You know how worst it can be when you heat alcohols like methanol? Dammit.

I did this particular test that required me to heat up the methanol until it boils with my samples in, and using water for the condenser, it is reflux extraction if you know what it means. It needs to be run about 1 hour.

So, I set up the whole apparatus and let it runs about a couple of minutes until it boiled – seemed everything was okay so I ran to the next lab to do another tasks. 40 minutes later I smelled like something burnt, Kak Norsya and CKW already at the previous lab searching for what’s burning. Then I saw my Reflux apparatus. It was all black and I can see some smokes rising from it. Totally burnt!

The smell was very disturbing, and CKW scold me. Haha. No offence because partly it was my fault too. I should stay right infront of it for the freaking 1 hour to see how that shit that thing goes. Actually the water was accidentally not running, so the condenser can’t do it tasks. Things get hotter and that was when the methanol took that chance to rise and shine.

Methanol is a very dangerous chemical; do not mess with it – I learned it hard way.

But still, my mood for today wasn’t interrupted. Just, I’m a little bit scared washing it. Heard that methanol can absorb through our skin? And I felt sorry for those that inhaled the methanol smoke (including me!) I hope it wouldn’t affect much. I hope!

Now, listening to Parachute – The Mess I Made, yeah I’m just staring at the mess I made today.

Anyway, today is Denah’s birthday! We’re still in contact even it has been quite a long time of not meeting each other. We planned to meet up this month, I don’t know let see how it goes.

turn 22!

30 December, the date is coming again.

Sometimes, part of me hope that the date wouldn’t come too fast so that I won’t receive any birthday wish or the party that was (secretly) organised just to celebrate my birthdate. I’m not used to be a main attention – I don’t know how to react when people keep on showering me with those wishes and songs. I would rather be alone and live life as usual. It is the biggest party for me, an introvert. haha!

But well, my university years changed the way the date is celebrated. The two comrades always plan something surprising for me, every years without fail. From the midnight-cake to climb up my room-window whenever it was locked and the climax was last year when they gathered most of my classmates in a room just to have some food-fiesta just for my birthday! haha, I told them I don’t like surprise. But things went well, I was happy, we were.

Today – it’s again. I don’t know why I come to miss the moment. I miss how they tricked me on the day even I told them not to celebrate anything. I miss how they called me a young sister (a baby!), for a late-born me, how they wished I would turn mature haha (I think I would never turn out to be one?).

Now, feel a little awkward of not having them around on this date. It’s a boring day I would say. Anyway, thanks for the wishes and happy birthday to me! 😀

the comrades. haha so innocent time ni 😛

back in reality

Back in to the other side of reality. Writing.

Enough of the four-hollow-months ; the most non-productive writing period (for what ever reason, let not discuss about it) even though the ideas fall freely from the sky, it is ignorance that spoiled everything. Enough of that.

So, today I picked up the notebook and a pen which rested down deep inside my bag (glad that I found one!) and jotted down some plans that I need to work them out. One writing contest, three manuscript submissions – and the deadlines are all at early 2015. And well, here I am still figure it out how to start completing all these.

Fulfilled the term and condition of the publisher and the contest party, I couldn’t post any of the writings here, on this personal blog or any website, or anywhere on earth before I handed the manuscripts out. It is a right procedure, to respect the copyright kind of thing. I agreed, but the main problem is me, who can’t resist the urge to share up here when some stories are completed! haha. Please pray for the urge to calm a little bit down.

Besides short stories, maybe this is the time when I should spread out my  wing a bit more wider? I mean, maybe I should write a novel? Hoho. Writing a novel really need a good rhythm, discipline and consistency. I remembered some of my short stories await for their sequel. Haha, now where are the discipline and consistency and whatnot go to? Anyway, pray for the best. One step at a time.

I have to move on into another big step. Minus out all the bad-black memories and hopeless imaginations and expectations. I really need a move-on pill. Not much time left.

Oh, today is mom’s birthday. She is amazing and the best, strongest person I’ve ever met. Being an event manager to plan out the birthday surprise, haha it is one of the many sweet memories today. Anyway, thanks mom for being you. You’re amazing :]

Another mini celebration


I thought after the duo midnight-birthday-surprise, everything just back to the normal. Fiqah and Syuha asked me to come to their house, for some eating event like we used to do before. Well, it is normal. Going to the house was like checked into a restaurant.  A lot of food!

Everything was normal..and not until I stepped into Fiqah’s room when I saw a lot of my classmates were standing in a circle! Another circle of foods was on the floor, arranged nicely.

And they started surprising me with the songs and such. Haha. Ok. I actually was finding way to react. I just laughed and really? They prepared all these? It was quite huge mini celebration. With some backdrop written Happy 21st Birthday Izni, minus the blowpipe and party cone. Haha. They really worked hard for this. They even invented a fb chat-group for the planning. Haha.

Well, most of my favourite foods were there and it was and is a sweet memories that I’ll keep tightly in my life album.

Magnificent thanksss would go to Fiqah and Denah ; my most close duo in UNIMAS. They planned and prepared all night, sleepless. Another people that went sleepless, I’m in huge guilty, really.

They gave me a beautiful birthday card with a bunch of wishes, hopes and prayers. Even though birthday surprise is on top of my most-hate-things list, I was melted with their efforts.

All such moments will make me miss them one day, seriously.



Editing by Ika. Haha.

Much appreciated!