Hopeless Prison

When it comes to Murakami’s books, I tend to take a longer time to finish. By ‘longer’ I mean, maybe more than 5 – 6 months since 1. I read books during selective weekend / night. 2. I love how he put things into picture until it seemed alive and as if the words themselves are talking to me hence I tend to have a lot of my kind-of- silent-moment upon his brilliant elaboration (I guess that what made him as a legendary writer). His words hit the right spot and yeah, he really is an excellent author no doubt about it.

In Colorless Tsukuru Tazaki and His Years of Pilgrimage, when Tsukuru dreamt he was in a great jealousy for the first time in his life, Murakami successfully (at least in my view) inserted “jealousy” into a vivid frame. It just feels the same like what I sometimes feel and finally, I found the right word – most hopeless prison. Being in state of jealousy is like being in a hopeless prison that you stepped in yourself. No matter how suffocated you are in the prison, you insist to stay for some odd reasons.

“Jealousy—at least as far as he understood it from his dream—was the most hopeless prison in the world. Jealousy was not a place he was forced into by someone else, but a jail in which the inmate entered voluntarily, locked the door, and threw away the key. And not another soul in the world knew he was locked inside. Of course if he wanted to escape he could do so. The prison, was after all, his own heart. But he couldn’t make that decision. His heart was as hard as a stone wall. This was the very essence of jealousy.” 

..exactly !


to many more posts about his quotes.

Tools to think creatively

1. Believe it can be done. Eliminate “impossible”, “won’t work”, “can’t do”, “no use trying” from your thinking and vocabs.

2. Don’t let tradition paralyze your mind. Be receptive to new ideas. Be experimental, try new approaches. Be progressive in everything you do.

3. Ask yourself daily, “How can I do better?”. There’s no limit to self-improvement.

4. Ask yourself, “How can I do more?”. Capacity is a state of mind.

5. Practice asking and listening. Big people monopolize the listening; small people monopolize the talking.

6. Stretch your mind. Get stimulated. Associate with people who can help you think of new ideas, new ways of doing things. 

-The Magic of Thinking Big (David J. Schwartz) 

“Pramoedya Ananta Toer”

Pramoedya Ananta Toer

Okay, I was quite behind. Why I never heard of this name before?

He is an Indonesian writer, his book had been translated into more than 30 languages.  and this time I don’t want to read the English version. I wonder where I could get a copy of his book. Is it still being published? I wanna read in its original language, or in simple Indonesian language.

Happened to read a quote from “Anak Semua Bangsa” written by him, and it keep staining.He must be a great writer! Is he is an Indonesian’s Hemingway? I wonder.

The due date

Things I’m not favor in borrowing an awesome book from library or from anywhere else, is that I’m going to lose the book when it reached the due date. Beside the fact that I can’t highlight or underline every precious words that I felt like to, the journey of finishing the book and every feelings that had been engraved on it – I’m going to lose it. I can’t re-read them and re-feel the same feelings again. I can’t own the sentimental value part.

Sounds funny, but it is a kind of heart-aching. It is like when you are in a distance relationship – out of nowhere your communication way is being cut off. Haha. Exaggerating, but really mean it.

What a sugary day! – saturday

Ok. This is today’s story.

I was surprised getting a notification of busy traffic on my blog. And a few comments on blog and fb. I was in puzzled,  what happened? I didn’t write any new short story? Or novel? Haha. Nooo I’m not.

Guess what? Nazali Noor, the author of Ulu Yam di Liverpool (UYDL) happened to read what had I reviewed on the book. I was in total frozen state! Like, Seriously?  This is too good to be a reality! I wonder what brings him up to here. I mean, to this deserted blog of mine? Heh.

Destiny again? Yes, can I think so? Because the book from the first place was destined for me. Hehe.  I’m happier more than anyone on this earth on that moment. Happier than a prisoner that finally can breathe in his first fresh oxygen. Happier than when I got straight A’s or than anything it could be. Overstated? I know. Hee I’m grateful to be exact. Alhamdulillah.

Thanks Abang Naz for the great inspiration and about your compliment to my writing,  am I really a great writer? Haha. That’s a way too good for an Izni. But please pray for me to be one!

I will really find a way to meet you someday. InsyaAllah. You re-fuel my dreams that had been a long time dimmed.


Twenty Thousands Leagues Under the Sea


Finished reading Twenty Thousands Leagues Under the Sea by Jules Verne. It is a quite thin-100 pages book compared to what I bought 2 years back which I rest it at home in Kedah. Should make some time to read and finish the book when I’m home later.

It’s about a voyage under the sea by The Nautilus sailed by Captain Nemo’s command. Sailing and living at the sea floor, watching the undiscover sea’s wonder, wrecked ships and dead men, giant octopuses and other unique creatures – what is more cool than that? I read with excitement as if as I’m on board The Nautilus.


I heard that there’s some peoples who become a so called Vernian ; they believe that the Jules Verne’s stories were not just a story. They may hold some truth in the real world.

Am I included? Haha. I start to believe that this is not just a story. Who knows there’s a ship and people who live under 20 thousands leagues under the sea. It would be a great discovery.


“There’s enough food in the ocean to feed the whole population of the world. Sometimes I imagined entire cities being built below the sea. It would be wonderful to live an undersea city. Life under sea is calm, safe, and enjoyable.”

He paused.

“But it would be no use. Some unjust ruler would seize the power and make life below the sea no better than life on land. We don’t need new cities,Professor, we need new men”

The Day Before : Lisa Shroeder

” Next we head to the exhibit

I most want to see

                                  Passages of the Deep.


Sharks and stingrays swim

above us,

below us,

all around us.

We walk through

the tunnel of glass


as if we’re afraid

of falling in.


“Can you feel it?”, Cade asks me.

“Feel what?”

“The Power.

The confidence.

They’re so damn confident.”


I nod.

I do feel it.

But I want to tell him, I feel something else too.



And it’s not from

the eels.”

(The Day Before by Lisa Schroeder)


Finished this book quite a long time ago, but recently I just love to re-read it again. Different from other book that were written with compact, small, and lengthy words, Lisa wrote this book with her style. Elegant short rhythm line which made me able to finish the entire book within only 2 days.

Tried to find the other books written by her at the bookstores since then but I didnt found any of them. For me, this book is not about the love story, I see it as a life journey in seeking her stand and identity.

” There is something comforting about a lighthouse

In the dark of the night,

hold on to the light,

and you’ll get back home safely

                     I need a personal lighthouse “

(The Day Before by Lisa Schroeder)

Lighthouse at Twilight

called abah just now. Talking about my craving on nasi daging and air asam. Heh,and know what? Pavi is weird. The price is getting higher. Sigh -_-

Foods here create their own boredom. I need something spicy and flavourful.

and cheap.

Reclaim your Heart

Saw the book at the “New Arrival” shelf when I entered MPH just now. This book had been in my list since a long time ago and finally today, I can see it barely with my eyes. Yasmin Mogahed always being a figure that when she talks or writes, she is like talking to my heart. That feeling..is indescribable.

It is an awesome book ; I even had chance to read some of the pages . It is wonderfully written!  How I wish to finish it all at the bookstore but they want to leave in hurry.

I want it so bad but at the end, I left not buying anything. Hope to see the book again.

Reclaim your Heart by Yasmin Mogahed

Reclaim your Heart by Yasmin Mogahed



Sworn to Silence is my best bed time story. With over 320 pages, I can’t tell when will I finish it. 😀 Since Crime Scene Investigation (CSI) have been my evergreen favourite TV Programme (not to mention Law and Order, NCIS, and Sherlock Holmes are included), I am very much drown into this book. No matter how busy I am with my ‘official’ things, this book provides a great escape for me. It is about a murder of young woman in very gruesome, and slow ways. Then, the author give me a bunch of exciting moments when she wrote about autopsy,and how it made, medical term, re-create crime, and those related things. To write those lines, I swear she had done a lot of reading,watching and research before.



Heard that it had been turned into movie? Or the movie turned into this book? I dont know. After all, it is a 2009’s book. Now I felt ancient.haha

but who cares then.

Morning coldness


Woke up this morning and despite of coldness from the light rain outside, a weird feeling urges inside me. Something is empty and unfilled.

and I remembered about my ‘sleeping pen’ or ‘sleeping keyboard’ – It has been a long time since I didn’t write any stories,short or long stories. It is not my retarded imagination, maybe some passion lost with those wind.

Currently read a book by A. Samad Said and caught his precious line that really ‘talk’ to me.

” Rupa-rupanya membaca membenihkan kerinduannya sendiri. Dan tidak membaca terasa seperti gagal bercinta di zaman remaja”

Just in my current case, membaca is replaced by menulis.