Transformation is the modern definition of “change”

Watched a video about transformation of Malaysia and I think, Malaysia had transformed much in term of social care. Still have more to go, but at least we’re on the right track. I believe we will achieve greater transformation in every possible aspects. There’s a lot of schemes provided to ensure every kid can get equal education; in urban or rural area, helping scheme for those who wanna start a business, for single mother, and so on. I’m one proud Malaysian. I know, Malaysian – typically look down everything that happened here. Everything is WRONG in their eyes. Everything was complained, commented, rejected, and manipulated. Say it good or bad – that group is always there, taking a job in making conclusion that everything is BAD and contain negative agenda. Maybe some of them could be true, but not in every cases? They never see things in bright side. They act as if they are the only one who know every inches of the country’s economy, situations, dos and don’ts in managing a nation – but in fact they produce nothing, not even a single productive solution and action. 57 years – we are on our way in progressing. I think the problem of Malaysia is the peoples. Think-less, thought-less, absent-minded and very scared of making a change. We even laughed on the brilliant, outstanding ideas – we often see things as IMPOSSIBLE without giving a try. If that’s so, how much progress we could make? Yet we demand for changes while we ourselves are being static.

I had observed this weakness including today. Someone asked me for a help – it was not the first time, but she herself still, refused to help her own self. Having fun around, too lazy to think – I don’t know, it is sad. She’s not the only person I met behaved like that but there was hundreds more. How we are going to heal this kind of group? I am thinking. And found nothing. How do we give an effective approach of awareness so that they can be at least, confident of themselves and try to think of some things. Try to have a thought so that people won’t look you down.

I have still more complains to confess here (haha) because I don’t see any other solution of healing this situation other then they (we) rise and change themselves (ourselves). I am seeking a way on how to make them realise that they to be particular – she – is actually worth a better place in this world, if and only if she’s willing to take a change forward. Don’t be so wilted out – be firm.

It isn’t include the oh-how-long-the-writings-i-hate-and-don’t-want-to-read-‘s syndrome. I can write all my experiences regarding that issue in a full blog page. It is sad. I wish to bring a change on all of the issues. Let see if I could find a way. But it is the hardest thing to educate and change people’s mentality. Mom had said that, and she is all right. Mentality is the craziest subject to be handled. That was one of the reasons why I stopped doing Herbalife. I found myself failed to change people’s mentality. What’s wrong, actually?

So, for this time being, try to be proud and appreciate our country. If you want to make a change in governing this country then start to plan it by a wise action. Why not? You can make a change.

Some of the Malaysians will label me as a pro-Najib, pro-whatsoever-more, haha. I just see Malaysia as a solid Malaysia, my beloved country that we have to take a very good care of it. It is only 57 years, we need to learn so much more.

Deen, Thoughts

It’s a one way trip

Life is a one way trip. It is like getting on a train and it will stop at one station before we ride again for another station. We were given three tickets and once one of them was tore off, we have no way back. The train is moving and keep on moving. No refund, no nothing. We can’t go back and reclaim what we had lost.

While you’re reading this, and when I’m writing this – OUR ticket has one left.The third one. Means that, our pass two tickets is invalid, had been torn off. We have another one ticket to make a different, and that one ticket alone is more powerful than anything. It is a ticket to an eternity world. To the Death and beyond it.

For hearts that doesn’t feel anything, had been froze like a stone – It is never too late to do something.

It is never too late.

Aim of this life is to live. To live a-forever-life in the permanent world – which styles of endless-life we want to live later? It is us that decide.

Click to WATCH this amazing wake-up-Video : THE THIRD TICKET

It is moving ahead, to another station. We are getting closer.

It is moving ahead, to another station. We are getting closer.



Sometimes hurting people is a way to live, happily

Ever hurt someone’s feeling?

I just did. I know she expected more from me and so generous asking me along, but I just can’t force my self anymore. I can’t hold it for another day or week.

I am suffocated. I need space and time. I refused doesn’t mean that I hate her, or whatever related to her. Maybe it was just me that hard to fit myself into that kind of environment. I have my own way, seriously.

I know her intention is more than good, I know. But I have another system that I comfort with. Same purpose but just with another way. I hope she won’t get me wrong although I know she will. In fact, she already had some bad impression towards me. Not my problem because I am not living up to her impressions and desires.

It is relieved to tell the truth. Like a prisoner that finally can breathe in a fresh air.

Sometimes, it is important to be selfish and cruel so that we can live without regret.

I told a truth, and at the same time, I knew another truth. Today is so a truth-full-day huh? The another truth changed my hope. It is okay, the hope is already vanished a long time ago. So, I considered it as a confirmation. It doesn’t bother me even for a minute microbe.

Relieved. Alhamdulillah.


Personal, Thoughts



Alhamdulillah. It seems like everything has set back into routine. 3 months to go before all these things will be setting down. I am not tired nor hate, I’m enjoying this precious process. Something made me realise, and I can say it changed me. At least, a little bit.

When I supposed to struggle finishing my assignment yesterday,  I unintentionally joined  Ain in a long chatting (she is a good story teller). She told me about his rich fiance, how her man different from others and things like that. I can see her love blooming.

Then, we talked about one of our housemates. She is contrary with Ain. She was born in a very poor family, Ain said. I was shocked because her mimic doesn’t show so. She is cool, always cool. She is the shyest person in our home and always keep her eyes on her text book, studying.

The story make me realised that it needs a strong reason for your determination. It needs a strong why for everything we do until nothing can bring us down.

Double motivation for me when seeing my seniors and friends graduated successfully. I met Kak Fish when I was on my way to my class. She was graduated. Not to mention that she wore the most beautiful smile I ever seen on her face.

I need to work very hard. One and a half semester more before I can wear the smile too.

I think I should stop my mind from remembering what is not worth to remember. I should be attached to my former stand that when you expecting much, the more disappointing you’ll be. Will keep living as former me, again.





Attent FYP’s meeting with Dr Lim Po Teen yesterday, I miss attending his lecture,actually. He is someone that I proud of. Not only him, all lecturers are awesome and have  their own expertise and uniqueness that make me go  “I want to be like him!”, “I want to be like her!” and that kind or urge.

Leaving my deadly ambiltion of being gynaecologist (I am so enthusiastic to be a gynaecologist – few years back), I started to see its hikmah of being here. Some mentalities and paradigm in me has changed and I can say that my old me is totally different. Totally different. So, if my old old friend meet me, they will say that I’ve changed. If they dont say it loud, I know they will say silently inside.

It is okay. Yes, I am changing and maybe I will keep changing. Suddenly remembered of mom’s ‘evergreen’ quote of manusia itu baharu. As I keep growing old(?), I just get the meaning of the quote. I will no more laugh when mom said that, because it is true! deadly true.

Dr Lim Po Teen talked about some guides of referencing. Alas, what I learnt in ARW few semesters back can’t be used. Somehow, something should be made differently. Then, I know, the format of the refrencing that I learnt is actually for social science. Mainly for social science, but for science (more to my Faculty’s style) is quite different. I have to edit the entire of my proposals! Good.

Dr also highlighted on website’s source of referencing and told us to write the date of access. Because, the content may changed as the date passed by.

It reminds me of myself. I love to read my pass diary,like 2010’s, 2011’s just to see how much thing has changed. Things changed much in 2013, I think. Sometime, it left me with this question > “did I passed through all these?”

or maybe some immature deeds of mine that made me annoyed and really sick. Did I really did that?Ohmy!

But, now I have no solid diary. I hate to pour all my feeling and story to a blank page. It just don’t get me enough. Or maybe I hate writing about me and what I concerned about.

Till here. Heard that we can acess a lot more journals if using university’s’ WiFi? I just know about it. Ok. Now, I felt like first year student!



Ramadhan : A Gateway


Alhamdulillah, we will reach Ramadhan very soon and let us pray for Allah to make our heart alive along the Ramadhan as well as post-Ramadhan. Ramadhan is often to be called as a gateway of changing and improving.On top of that, it really doesn’t work much if the improvement or the changing is fail to be maintained on the following months.However, to change in Ramadhan is really a rahmah and privilege to have rather than being the same without any improvement ; just like our ‘before’.


Among the twelve months, Ramadhan is the best month on the planet. We had gone through a lot of hardship, battleship of the nafs and everything that build and destruct ourselves.When it comes to Ramadhan, it is our time to reflect back our deeds. If before this, we performed our prayers in rushing and seldom put our hands together to pray, in Ramadhan, we have to make a move.  If before this we feel that to pray and perform tahajud is such a huge and heavy things to do, this Ramadhan, push your self up. Don’t let yourself being the same as before.Be better!

If we ever feel that in those earlier months before Ramadhan, we were too busy of our business until it is too little time spent for Allah and we felt something like a gap between us and Allah ; this is the right time for us to spend time, improve our deeds and taqarrub with HIM. No time, too? Be creative. It doesn’t need for us to stay sit on our prayer mat in order to perform our ibadah. It is always a chance and thousand ways for those who want to become a better slave of Allah. Shortly, something should be improved by this coming Ramadhan.

Reading time!

What I love most about Ramadhan is that, time is being long. It is not the result of solstice or whatsoever (no such thing in Malaysia)  but it is the result whereby a lot of our routine had reduced. To be particular, it is our eating time! We tend to keep thinking about filling our stomach full and what’s next to be eaten. In Ramadhan, everybody is fasting and we unconsciously have a lot of time.

The time can be used to have a good reading of Al-Quran or anything beneficial to our soul and life. Reduce talking and gossiping, maximising reading and understanding. Read the translation of Al-Quran if we hardly understand the Arabic words of it. Seek the love of Allah and pray and pray.Allah is all-listening and Ramadhan is very a good time to pray. Grab the chance!

Istiqamah doing the change and InsyaAllah, the following months after Ramadhan, you can feel the change. Something is renew and it is Imaan. Retain and build it up by keep continuing the deeds, just like we’re in Ramadhan. What matter most is our understanding about the words and orders of Allah, not about how fast we can finish reading the Al-Quran. If so, we tend to read Al-Quran in rushing way and at last, nothing can be gain or felt. That is a waste for our soul.

A Gateway

It is good for us to keep reminding that Ramadhan is a great gateway for us to be better. Why? Because it is easier,dude! Syaitan had been in prison and we have less enemy alive except ourselves. Fight with our self is indeed a true battleship of Ramadhan and the true winner will be revealed in the following eleven months right after the Ramadhan.

Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said that Paradise is surrounded by hardship and the Hell-fire is surrounded by temptation

So, struggle against ourselves and do things that please Allah, not human being.

Until then, have a soul-changing Ramadhan, fellas 🙂

Ramadhan is a beautiful gateway.

Ramadhan is a beautiful gateway.


What happen?

Actually these days I sort of in “blank” state.A lot of things happened around me, which made some part of me experiences somewhat called “revolution” or “evolution” ? haha. Whatever it called, but the basic meaning is “CHANGES”.

Things get worse when I have no idea how to put an end to my cerpen. I already set an end to the story but I felt uneasy to the ending. Regardless uneasy because the ending is not interesting or maybe I just forgot how the ending should be. I plan a twist-plot method but yeah, practice is really count!

I have to admit that in writing world, once you are not regularly practiced or just happen to think about ” what to write”, it just blown up, blown away.The ideas are not really creative and your brain is like cramping! oh.That sound extreme,but yep it do occur to me! >.<

Few days back, im really in crazy mood. I did feel something that I deadly promise to myself to do not feel it even once! Now i feel it,it just worse.I dont want to feel it. Worse.Worse.Worse. Shame on me!

So, what happen? Earth spinning around and so as me.Reality,indeed.

Ya Allah, do keep me in straight way. Make my heart clear from any negative feeling and anything that may take me astray from you. Ameen ya Rabbal ‘alamin.