To begin with, I don’t know how we became that uniquely close. I think, I was labeled as “Confession Box” on my forehead. Most of my friends told me their true life stories. And Tikah has hers. She’s wearing (pic) my gift tudung sempena her birthday. When I told her I want to further my study (InsyaAllah), she paused for a moment, and said she’ll support me for whatever decision I made. I hold a lot of peoples’ stories. While mine is buried away. 30 days left for working. Surely will miss her, and everything a lot.

Three cakes for two


Ezan and I went to the customer’s house to collect the money. After everything was settled, we rewarded ourselves with three pieces of cakes. We were like..3 pieces? We could die from the sweets, creams, cheeses, and chocs!

Our diet plan? Straight down to the drain! Haish.

..but we had a great time lah 😀

The most expensive beverage I'd ever bought in my life. I wonder why I'm so boros. Whyy

Happy Ezan and her fav cake

And here she is. With walnut brownies.

Till then. Desperately need a rest after a hectic week. Tomorrow is my off day! Hope I can get off from my bed for a morning jog.

short nag.

I’ve seen many of my friends were engaged, married and some of them are now having their own copies, child! Knowing how time flies scared me not to death, but at least – it scares me. Aside of the chaos, I’m still thinking I’m a little mommy’s girl who would never grow up mature. In fact, in few years more, say seven years (seven years would come as fast as you blink your eyes trust me) I will turn 30, and then 40, 50..I just couldn’t imagine how life would be on that stage. I mean, with whom I’ll share my life, growing old together with..how world would be in this 20 years time (would it survive?) that sort of thoughts..things that we, I couldn’t expect and imagine.

The secret, mysterious life of us — I found it fascinating.

and let’s talk about marriage. For me, marriage is when you are willing to share your life circle with someone you feel just right for you. Someone who dare to commit on loving you. We would never know if we had made a right decision of marrying someone until we married them,no? Now it sounds like a creepy life experiment. Sometimes you might think you’d made a right decision but who knows maybe, just maybe, in the future things would change. Marriage isn’t easy. It is a contract of love and commitment. That was why when a married couple has no love remained with a poor commitment – their marriage would dump straight down to the hell. Shattered. Burnt.

Why on earth am I nagging about this? haha.

I miss the old you.

Imaginary friend

Imaginary friend.

Do you have one?

I do.

Mine is nameless ( I’m not sure what name suits him/her best). But not Yayah please, it’s not “Dear Yayah,..” . Haha.

Imaginary friend is actually our another half. Not that another half, I mean it literally. Another part of ourselves, another side. It goes like this – I’m Izni who talk to Arifah. Simply like that ; another half – ourselves.

Being a very secretive girl when I was at school, I owned a lot of diaries that I wrote to my imaginary friend. It was like I wrote to someone, unseen. I asked my imaginary friend some unanswered questions, opinions, and even when I cried – I poured everything down in words. It is a place where I can be honest to myself. It is really Izni who talked to Arifah. Haha.

I believe everybody has one ; since it is actually our inner us. Our mind mate.  The only difference is how deep our friendship is. The more frequent you interact with yourself ( valuing everything that happened, self-reflection session, etc ), the more you can feel the connection.

I realised this when I decided to record every single moment and big chapters in my life. I’ve just established my new baby blog just to record my internship journey. Maybe someday, there will be another separate virtual space for me to write as a wife, lover, mom, worker, grandmother, traveler and so on. When I asked myself,  “to whom you’re writing?” – part of me said “it is for me”, because maybe I will feel more alive when I’m writing (even sometimes I gave up), or maybe that’s the only way that I can save every sentimental moment tightly. I’m at my freedom.

It’s nearly 3 am, relieved that electricity just came back otherwise I will die hot. Malaysia (world?) at its suffering era. Global warming, El Nino etc – it’s a paycheck for us who love to destroy our mother nature.

Good night mind mate, soul mate, imaginary friend,  imaginary companion or whatever it called. This ramble will be longer if I’m not going to stop now. Let’s get some sleep.

Blackout. When it is dark, then you know what is bright. Rambling!

Another mini celebration


I thought after the duo midnight-birthday-surprise, everything just back to the normal. Fiqah and Syuha asked me to come to their house, for some eating event like we used to do before. Well, it is normal. Going to the house was like checked into a restaurant.  A lot of food!

Everything was normal..and not until I stepped into Fiqah’s room when I saw a lot of my classmates were standing in a circle! Another circle of foods was on the floor, arranged nicely.

And they started surprising me with the songs and such. Haha. Ok. I actually was finding way to react. I just laughed and really? They prepared all these? It was quite huge mini celebration. With some backdrop written Happy 21st Birthday Izni, minus the blowpipe and party cone. Haha. They really worked hard for this. They even invented a fb chat-group for the planning. Haha.

Well, most of my favourite foods were there and it was and is a sweet memories that I’ll keep tightly in my life album.

Magnificent thanksss would go to Fiqah and Denah ; my most close duo in UNIMAS. They planned and prepared all night, sleepless. Another people that went sleepless, I’m in huge guilty, really.

They gave me a beautiful birthday card with a bunch of wishes, hopes and prayers. Even though birthday surprise is on top of my most-hate-things list, I was melted with their efforts.

All such moments will make me miss them one day, seriously.



Editing by Ika. Haha.

Much appreciated!