Giving someone a hope by my action and behavior without I’m realizing it. haha, is it giving a hope? Really, that make me keep thinking about that until now, at this moment. I don’t think it is a hope-giving-action. It is just..I don’t know, anything else but not hope. If it was considered as giving a hope, or some diverged interpretations, what should I do?
That’s funny. I’m giving someone a hope. Really? I don’t think anyone hoping in me. Nothing special.
Worrying about a lot of things now, included the nice burger scent that reach my room. I have to bear this situation every night. I worried if tonight I will walk out and buy one. haha.
I just did. I know she expected more from me and so generous asking me along, but I just can’t force my self anymore. I can’t hold it for another day or week.
I am suffocated. I need space and time. I refused doesn’t mean that I hate her, or whatever related to her. Maybe it was just me that hard to fit myself into that kind of environment. I have my own way, seriously.
I know her intention is more than good, I know. But I have another system that I comfort with. Same purpose but just with another way. I hope she won’t get me wrong although I know she will. In fact, she already had some bad impression towards me. Not my problem because I am not living up to her impressions and desires.
It is relieved to tell the truth. Like a prisoner that finally can breathe in a fresh air.
Sometimes, it is important to be selfish and cruel so that we can live without regret.
I told a truth, and at the same time, I knew another truth. Today is so a truth-full-day huh? The another truth changed my hope. It is okay, the hope is already vanished a long time ago. So, I considered it as a confirmation. It doesn’t bother me even for a minute microbe.
On my way of reading Alchemy of Forever by Avery Williams. My first incarnation-theme novel which is somehow tally with a korean drama of Rooftop Prince. The novel is quite advance in language which forces me to spend quite a long time to finish it. But, insyaAllah, will finish it proud.
It seems like I started to love unusual and weird things,huh?
I just love to be out of this noisy planet and by reading those type of genre really made me.Not to mention that I hope I can write some novels and story like that too! Pray for me 🙂
This week is really a red-letter week. Knowing that my short story had been published on a website two months ago really make me in huge gratitude. Alhamdulillah.All praise to Allah. I just write to fulfill the “fire” inside me and not expect to receive that good news.
After all, it’s really a good beginning.
Until then, continue living and do something outstanding!