For now, keep it.

I think, may be that’s why I am what I am now. I am easily get disgusting reading those words. Feeling not right at all. Feeling wrong.

Aren’t they need to save something in the future? I mean, what left if you just say and give everything now? Reserve something. Hold it for the right moment. Now I feel so conventional. Haha who cares. I love full reservation and speciality. Just wait for some little time, for the right day – and you can be the most romantic person ever live on earth and in the whole planets in the solar system.

For now, keep it. Reserve.

possibility living with your “copy” ?

Okay, this question is interesting. What is the possibility of two peoples that having same interests, thoughts, goals, dreams, and whatever-else that are the same to each other – being together as a pair, as a soulmate and live happily together ever after?

What’s the possibility? Forget about the mathematical formulas but at one bright side, yes, they can live together due to their similarities. Much easier maybe? There will be less fighting and can have much wider discussion about their thoughts. They can do everything they love and enjoy every breath they have. To find a person that love whatever we love, and think the way we think is so difficult. It would be a great moment when they can try a new different thing together, discover brand new hobbies and so on. It is like living with another copy of them. Dark side of this, life could get very bored, but only for those who are close minded. For the open minded people, they will find a creative way to express the similarities. Be creative! Create something fun.

Living together with a totally different people can turn out in two possible ways. It could be a very successful or a very disastrous life. A successful life would result in if they are willing to learn, understand and accept each other. Ability to see an aspect from different views, and willingness to change something would be so much help. I can imagine how colorful their life will be! Mind restriction is the only way that lead to a disastrous life. Lack of effective discussion, refuse to accept different opinions and inability to control emotions are the bomb key. Once it explodes, here comes in the mushrooming divorce issues.

Well, we don’t know and can’t surely expect what type of person we will be live with. If I could choose, I prefer to live with a copy of mine. For the fact of no two persons are exactly alike, we should learn how to adjust and agree in disagrees.

As nothing can guarantee anything, maybe we can try from now. Try to fine-tune our personalities and inner mentalities. After all, type of living – happiness or messiness are all based on the way we handle the problems or the rising situations.

I don’t know, just a silent thought of mine. Maybe they are different in others’ point of view – your thought or sharing are warmly welcome! :]

someone may not be good. But there's something good in every one.
someone may not be good. But there’s something good in everyone. Discover that.

When is the right time?

I think, the power of “the right time” give tremendous impact in our life. Telling someone the bitter truth at the wrong good time may give rise to a disastrous war, or just a long period of cold silences – you know what I mean if you’re woman.hah!

Needless to say, every beautiful thing happen on a beautiful right time, a suitable time when everything just turned out so nicely, smoothly. What happen if, by any chance something happen on the wrong time? How would you react and the most important is, how would you know that it was JUST a wrong time, not a wrong choice.

I know, part of this discussion would directed to relationship between humans. So, let us take that subject as a simple example. From the start of the process in creating a bridge or bond between two peoples, the right time has become a major indicator; whether you will be accepted or rejected.

How would you know when is the right time to make a move forward?

It is easy. Make a move when you’re ready. Be patient even you can’t hold the urge like hell, and grow your confident. Being so much ready, means that you know what to do when you are accepted, you know how to build a world with the person, and you have everything that you need along the process. In case you are rejected, you can tolerate and accept the rejection without bad depression. It is what we called readiness.

You might be surprised, the person that reject you when the time is wrong, will accept you when the time is right.

Advising someone, and when to explode your angriness also have to do with the right time. I guess, everything on this planet needs a right time. Like, if a mom feels the pain of giving birth,if it is not the right time, the baby won’t come out. The mom have to endure the pain until the time has come.

So, try hard to be patient. If you are tired of being patient,then forget it. It is just the matter of time.

*que sera sera*
*que sera sera*

Brain : Machine to create meaning

It is interesting to know that behind our beliefs and all the thoughts- there’s some process occurred in our brain and of course unconsciously. We just ended up by “Yes, I believe” on something after a series of electrical connection and reaction that actively occurred just as fast as half of our blinking eye’s time. So fast until we don’t know that even in that matter, there’s science explanation beyond.

Brain subject has always been my biggest interest when it comes to cognitive and psychology explanation. It is a reason why it located at the upper us; besides its nobility, it gives pattern to our lives. It put colours to our breaths and world.

And also which determine our place in the hereafter; Heaven or Hellfire. So, beware in what we’re believing.

Superstition VS Brain

I’m not expect that this two things are interrelated (I’m not a cognitive science student so maybe I’m late in knowing this? But this is interesting). Thesis of Dr. Shermer who write a book entitled Believing Brain said that we form and create our belief for a variety of subjective, personal, emotional, and psychological reasons in the context of environments created by family, friends, colleagues, culture, and society at large; after forming our beliefs we then defend, justify, and rationalize them with a host of intellectual reasons, cogent arguments, and rational explanations. Beliefs come first, explanations for beliefs follow. We can’t help believing. Our brains evolved to connect the dots of our world into meaningful patterns that explain why things happen. These meaningful patterns become beliefs.

 First Process

When we look at something unfamiliar, the first process we do is by looking for a pattern and then infuses those patterns with meaning. Our brain continuously creating meaning beyond our sights and one of the evidences is a claims that there’s human resides on Mars when a picture showed a kind of human face on some random sand formation which interpreted as human face by public. Finally it is proven that the formation is nothing more than sand formation on a Mars’s sand mountain. It is nobody’s fault because human naturally tend to find a face pattern because we live with faces and expressions in the real world.

Effort of relating and finding meaning

So as in superstition. It happens as human tried to find a meaning behind some scene. Like what is the meaning when there’s a black cat walking in front of certain ceremony, what’s the sign when a glass broke in the middle of conversation, clothes that bring success during interview and so on. Human tried to find meaning and most of them related to either bad or good luck. Our brain is a belief engine, when we found some logic reason, we believe. However, it takes a strong taqwa to believe illogical events like Isra’ and Mi’raj and many other mu’jizat that happened to our noble prophets.

How meaningful or meaningless the data is – we can’t resist to find at least a meaning. Like what’s the meaning when someone say or do certain things to you. You start to analyse before you fall asleep, trying to find a reasonable meaning ; although they are meaningless at the very first place.

Think and analyse with heart and brain – there is when a wise thought and action comes in.

brain-powerMuchas gracias for the inspiration : Your Bleeped up Brain @ Discovery Channel.  

We are not complex – in A way


I thought of this like 3, or 4 years back and I always have no courage to convey this thought. It is a secretive discovery by my own and I know it is true, not myth. *Kononya lah.Haha.Tapi betul, Im sure. Human ; in a way, is not any complex. Sometimes, we feel the same at the same time.

Sometimes we feel the same at the same time

We are so-called complex because we have too much assumptions and discourages to ask how others feel on us. There’s a moment when I deadly want to know what is going on in someone’s mind or what thought wandered inside it. I’m in huge confusion and there’s the time when all the good and bad assumptions mixed and come up. At the simplest word, I am become more complex and feel like life is so much complex.

The complex-ness that I deemed before was spikily decrease when I finally knew that the thought that had been wandered around the mind was exactly the same as mine. Huge relieved but the time that I’m busy making assumptions by assumptions, it is a waste of time. A huge waste of time that I should make the time as my sleep time.

A few series of such events occurred that make me even convince by the thought. Life is become slightly easier, I learn to not doing a lot of uncertain assumptions and try to live just moderately, a so-so life. Easier, much more.

So, it might be weird but, sometime we have the same untold feelings.

Is there’s any probability that we, as human – processing our circumstances and life events or peoples’ value in the same way as each other’s? I would say Yes. However, some might not be the same, but then just accept the fact and stay with your thought if you want to, or move on to another satisfied thought.

It is strange that we want to know what someone think of. Not any strange because they may have a special place in your life that you don’t want to miss whatever things they think or did. Be brave to convey your thought, maybe it is the same as they think. Who knows.


Sadness – hold back


Recently inside me was so parallel with the weather outside. Windy, rainy, gloomy. I don’t know why.

Ok, actually I know why ; to be frank.

My biggest therapy is : randomly open the pages of my beloved. Most of the time, when I have something worrying or some feelings that doesn’t deserve to be feel, I just randomly open the pages and read what I see. Everytime I read what I saw, it really fits me. It heals at the same time.

No doubt, HE always knows about what we felt and HE is always there. So,we shouldn’t be apart from HIM. We have to be “there” too. Not only during our grieving time.

Sadness. Sometime, it is not a big deal. I mean, worry not that everything had been set up and Allah wont never let you down drown. Have faith ; otherwise we’re truly a loser.

Verse 139 that I marked as LOVE. I can feel the love. We shouldn’t weak. Weakness is not for us.

Hold back the sadness and have a strong faith.

Will you?


Only this time – marry?


Early 20s created so much events in my life. Yes, I am youngest among most of my friends from the start I was in kindergarten or in school or here in university, I am youngest regarded to my birthday! So, no friend admit that I am matured although I am. Hey, I am matured, okay. Haha. Ok, little bit childish here and there but please not count.

Today I will write about BASIC human need and it goes to LOVE.

Love? Err.

So what?

People’s mind especially women’s (I am woman) has large part in their mind which is actively thinking about love. That’s why woman is so much alert about love and tend to show theirs more than men does. We can see in our mom and dad. How they show their love and so on.

Stepping slowly into 20s, I admitted that I think about love more often than my years before. I started to think about the serious thing like marriage. In this case, I shouldn’t be so ego saying that I never want to be with my other half. I shouldn’t be ego when I fall in love with someone, I shouldn’t be ego if I targeted someone to be my future husband. But, after all, I am an ordinary girl which live with ordinary life and customs. I have nothing extraordinary to be pointed out. I shouldn’t ego to keep in praying what I am hoping.

Recently, thought on that is escalating. To be frank, I am so tired living all alone and how I hold myself to be not in “couple phenomenon”. I would rather be single and alone than being in that circle. I prefer short introduction, clear intention, quality engagement and simple wedding and invest in marriage. It is what I dream of.

What if.. I mean let say, if right after I am graduating, I will be married? I need someone that can always be beside me, motivating me whenever I am down like now, make me laugh when I stress, changing thoughts and idea, improving each other’s self, unconditionally love and live with me, teaches me what I need to learn and understand me well.

I think I can manage my life and stress well after marriage. Ask for my hand right after I am graduating. I don’t know if you read this. But I hope you are reading. Yet I don’t know who are “you”. Haha. Yes. I mean you 🙂

Sounds desperate? oh. No way. I am not. Just, the fitrah manusia to be in pair is mushrooming in myself when I step into twenty-something years old. It is pretty normal.

The key is pray and tahajjud and istikharah. Improve our daily prayer and at the same time, use this time to learn more about Islamic knowledge like tajweed and sirah for us to tell our future childrens.

Everything will be beautifully fall in place one day.InsyaAllah.

Till then, it is the first time ever I write about “I want to be married”. So, dont get irritated, only this time 😀

So, it is rain heavily and I don’t know how to walk back to my college.




Attent FYP’s meeting with Dr Lim Po Teen yesterday, I miss attending his lecture,actually. He is someone that I proud of. Not only him, all lecturers are awesome and have  their own expertise and uniqueness that make me go  “I want to be like him!”, “I want to be like her!” and that kind or urge.

Leaving my deadly ambiltion of being gynaecologist (I am so enthusiastic to be a gynaecologist – few years back), I started to see its hikmah of being here. Some mentalities and paradigm in me has changed and I can say that my old me is totally different. Totally different. So, if my old old friend meet me, they will say that I’ve changed. If they dont say it loud, I know they will say silently inside.

It is okay. Yes, I am changing and maybe I will keep changing. Suddenly remembered of mom’s ‘evergreen’ quote of manusia itu baharu. As I keep growing old(?), I just get the meaning of the quote. I will no more laugh when mom said that, because it is true! deadly true.

Dr Lim Po Teen talked about some guides of referencing. Alas, what I learnt in ARW few semesters back can’t be used. Somehow, something should be made differently. Then, I know, the format of the refrencing that I learnt is actually for social science. Mainly for social science, but for science (more to my Faculty’s style) is quite different. I have to edit the entire of my proposals! Good.

Dr also highlighted on website’s source of referencing and told us to write the date of access. Because, the content may changed as the date passed by.

It reminds me of myself. I love to read my pass diary,like 2010’s, 2011’s just to see how much thing has changed. Things changed much in 2013, I think. Sometime, it left me with this question > “did I passed through all these?”

or maybe some immature deeds of mine that made me annoyed and really sick. Did I really did that?Ohmy!

But, now I have no solid diary. I hate to pour all my feeling and story to a blank page. It just don’t get me enough. Or maybe I hate writing about me and what I concerned about.

Till here. Heard that we can acess a lot more journals if using university’s’ WiFi? I just know about it. Ok. Now, I felt like first year student!


Online love


Wow, an interesting topic to be discussed, isnt? Well, way of getting love (male-female love) now changing as virtual world keep changing and changing. Everything seems so weird and that’s what said by “love in the air?” Yeah, love really on the “air” nowadays.haha

Yeah,nothing wrong about that and I didn’t said that it is impossible but, for me, it takes a right person to be in that process. I have a quite number of friends that met their husband/wife through Facebook, and other media socials. I read about a couple that met on Instagram few days ago and yeah, it can be done.

Group of people that usually fall into this situation is those that love to be around, chatting, commenting, observing their virtual friend’s activities and just drop by to say “hi” , “hello”, ” what are you doing”, etc , until the conversation took them into a point.

They finally realised that “there’s something happen” , ” it must be something”, ” I can’t live without chatting with you”, “he is nice” , “is it love?” and things get more and more. It is good for those that are really sure about their feeling and take a step forward. But, still it needs honesty and loyalty. It means, when you find someone on net that you’re really sure to share your life with,lock them up. I mean, be serious, and don’t talk and find another woman/man. Maybe there’s someone better than him/her? Dont do that. Focus to someone only, you will make them hurt.

Clarify everything that you love and want to marry with him/her. So that, things will not go wrong. If they agree,then plan to the next step. But, border between both of you have to be take care of. Well, I think Islam set an awesome orders in taking care those women and men’s interaction. Dont too over’sweet’ and promising this and that. After all, love needs evidence and trust.

If you feel that something goes wrong, like he/she seems to have a lot of relationship in virtual world and you maybe one of their collections, then you have to step back. You are not that cheap and the routine of loving them have to be stop. You have to learn to ignore the urges of typing “hello” and “how was your day”.Make yourself as busy as you can and try to find another beneficial hobby.

It may not be love,but something called addiction. Maybe? But, I am not againts the fact that love can be feel virtually, without seeing each other’s face. It is possible.

So, the better way of finding love is still, in reality world (in my point of view).

It is funny to see everything get evolved, like love is. I am welcoming your thoughts on this topic,let’s discuss! 😀

Btw, found a website that compile the internet love stories >> Internet Love Stories