short nag.

I’ve seen many of my friends were engaged, married and some of them are now having their own copies, child! Knowing how time flies scared me not to death, but at least – it scares me. Aside of the chaos, I’m still thinking I’m a little mommy’s girl who would never grow up mature. In fact, in few years more, say seven years (seven years would come as fast as you blink your eyes trust me) I will turn 30, and then 40, 50..I just couldn’t imagine how life would be on that stage. I mean, with whom I’ll share my life, growing old together with..how world would be in this 20 years time (would it survive?) that sort of thoughts..things that we, I couldn’t expect and imagine.

The secret, mysterious life of us — I found it fascinating.

and let’s talk about marriage. For me, marriage is when you are willing to share your life circle with someone you feel just right for you. Someone who dare to commit on loving you. We would never know if we had made a right decision of marrying someone until we married them,no? Now it sounds like a creepy life experiment. Sometimes you might think you’d made a right decision but who knows maybe, just maybe, in the future things would change. Marriage isn’t easy. It is a contract of love and commitment. That was why when a married couple has no love remained with a poor commitment – their marriage would dump straight down to the hell. Shattered. Burnt.

Why on earth am I nagging about this? haha.

I miss the old you.

Before anything, keep the intention right.

Eny told the stories passionately to me, on the outputs she got during yesterday night’s event. * events and bazaar everywhere these days. Plus the Open Day BRC ( glad that I can rest from faking my enthusiasm on those things just to get a room in the college).

The event is generally about Study and Marriage (yes. Again . that topic. haha). I forgot its long name, but yeah generally they discussed on that.

The points were the same as I’m thinking. Don’t get so rush and worry in that matter. Believe that someone has been destined for you. Everybody has their someone. They are heading to you now, and at the right time, everything will fall nicely,  right on its place. Beautifully.

If you love someone, pray. Asking Allah whether he/she is good for you. If you feel that you make the right decision, and somehow the time is so right to take a step forward, then make a move. How madly in love you are, if Allah said “no, they are not good for you” – indeed HE planned the best for us, then accept it and pray so that you will get a better one.

If we are not ready for any commitment due to some other things that have to be settled first before settling ourselves down, then stay still. Do something beneficial, and keep improving ourselves. Ignore the urge inside, because we can’t do anything when we’re not ready. Be the criteria that we want to have in our someone. And keep praying.

One important point that Eny told me which I deadly deadly agree with. It is about our intention to marry someone. INTENTION is more powerful than love –  Well, the panels doesn’t said that, I create the principle. Haha.

So, what’s our intention? What’s the goal of the planned marriage? What do you expect from your soulmate? What are your goals in life? Everything must be clear.

It reminds me that marriage is a serious thingy. Not just I love you – you love me- we are a happy family. It involves a lot of thing.

I think two people which can be a good friend in every situation, and can complete each other – is enough in a marriage. After all, lovey-dovey session will end some day, what remain is a strong and true friendship. That’s what make marriage last long.

Again, the unmarried (yet) gambles so much about marriage stuffs. Haha.

Oh. Eny will get married after this degree study. She is so advanced in her little cute size. Can’t wait to attend my first classmate’s wedding.

Only this time – marry?

Bismillah.

Early 20s created so much events in my life. Yes, I am youngest among most of my friends from the start I was in kindergarten or in school or here in university, I am youngest regarded to my birthday! So, no friend admit that I am matured although I am. Hey, I am matured, okay. Haha. Ok, little bit childish here and there but please not count.

Today I will write about BASIC human need and it goes to LOVE.

Love? Err.

So what?

People’s mind especially women’s (I am woman) has large part in their mind which is actively thinking about love. That’s why woman is so much alert about love and tend to show theirs more than men does. We can see in our mom and dad. How they show their love and so on.

Stepping slowly into 20s, I admitted that I think about love more often than my years before. I started to think about the serious thing like marriage. In this case, I shouldn’t be so ego saying that I never want to be with my other half. I shouldn’t be ego when I fall in love with someone, I shouldn’t be ego if I targeted someone to be my future husband. But, after all, I am an ordinary girl which live with ordinary life and customs. I have nothing extraordinary to be pointed out. I shouldn’t ego to keep in praying what I am hoping.

Recently, thought on that is escalating. To be frank, I am so tired living all alone and how I hold myself to be not in “couple phenomenon”. I would rather be single and alone than being in that circle. I prefer short introduction, clear intention, quality engagement and simple wedding and invest in marriage. It is what I dream of.

What if.. I mean let say, if right after I am graduating, I will be married? I need someone that can always be beside me, motivating me whenever I am down like now, make me laugh when I stress, changing thoughts and idea, improving each other’s self, unconditionally love and live with me, teaches me what I need to learn and understand me well.

I think I can manage my life and stress well after marriage. Ask for my hand right after I am graduating. I don’t know if you read this. But I hope you are reading. Yet I don’t know who are “you”. Haha. Yes. I mean you 🙂

Sounds desperate? oh. No way. I am not. Just, the fitrah manusia to be in pair is mushrooming in myself when I step into twenty-something years old. It is pretty normal.

The key is pray and tahajjud and istikharah. Improve our daily prayer and at the same time, use this time to learn more about Islamic knowledge like tajweed and sirah for us to tell our future childrens.

Everything will be beautifully fall in place one day.InsyaAllah.

Till then, it is the first time ever I write about “I want to be married”. So, dont get irritated, only this time 😀

So, it is rain heavily and I don’t know how to walk back to my college.

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