Research field and me is like water and oil. Could never blend in no matter how strong you shake and mix it. I didn’t know how incompatible I am with Research until I discovered it myself recently. That’s the reason why I quitted my Master Degree. Haha. Yes, Izni quitted her Master. *applause*
It took me two sleepless nights just to think whether it is a good decision or not. I was thinking how could I voiced it to my perfectionist supervisor ( I dont want to just run away without telling her),what will she say to me, and how I’m gonna answer her and bla bla bla.
Then, I came to a decision. I don’t care. If it makes me unhappy, I will just quit. Fortunately, I’m not dragging myself too far, or else it would be too late. To make it short, she approved me. I can’t help but smiling all the day. The feeling was like..when you bumped into a fatal accident, and you helped the victim to come to the life again (with the power of Allah surely).
Now I’m far more happy with this life. I wasn’t expect that I would feel this happy. Even though there’s a thick mist I have to get through,still but enough said, I’m happy because at least I’m not engaged with research, protocol, and whatnot. All these make me suffocate.
I remembered how bold and innocent I was 4 or 5 years ago, when I had my very first job at a pump station nearby my home. I worked for 4 days before boldly met the manager (or supervisor, can’t remember)and told her that i will not come to work again tomorrow. I want to quit because I need to help my aunty with her kedai makan (lie! Lie! Haha).
You had no idea how tiring and incompatible I was with my very first job. I didn’t get any payment (dad always bragging this) but I don’t mind. As long as I quit the job and be happy again. Haha. That was a very childish deed don’t you think?
Since then, I have one thing to bear in mind. When I’m unhappy with a particular thing, I must do something. I will just do it.
Dear myself, you’re so lucky. I’m doing such a weird and shocking things just to make you happy and confident again to face life. Lucky you.