By just believing..

I’ve been saving this draft for quite some times. Life has been quite good, or is it just me being over-confident that everything is good? Anyway, I believe everything is good – will be good ; that everything harsh will settle down, every bad things will slowly find its exit way. That aside, as the title denoted, I just feel like writing something about belief . About when you strongly believe that something is not that impossible, somehow they will turn out possible!

Now, believe in me. Do strongly believe in everything that you disbelieved. Thanks to this small book named “The Magic of Thinking Big”, I’m not that kind of person who usually invest my time reading motivation book! Tell you the truth, Izni is a kind of person who shitly say “whatever” after reading one-or-two-pages of a typical motivation book. But this book – it’s an exceptional. How to put it, urm its like when you hate eating ice cream (me not!) but when a special someone hands you an ice cream, the feeling..is somehow different. Ok, what’s the point of the comparison?!

Anyway, here goes the true content.

This book, is a must-read book for everybody. The way David puts the word together – I’m on fire. I have no idea how by just believing that “you can do it” can be that powerful. Even if you think you have no capability of achieving certain things, when you started to plant a strong belief in yourself, everything will turn out smoothly. You’ll be surprised when you look back someday, that things you thought was impossible, is now achievable.

How it affects me? 2 weeks ago, in my working place, I basically gave up on my self. You know, work loads. I have that evil thought in my mind that “I can’t do it. It is impossible. I don’t know how to do this. I’m done.” But then, I remembered that I read this book. Why not implementing those rumors that by believing you can, you actually can. Ahaks. That cheesy quote, I said. Let’s try.

I tried.

Things get better, to my surprise. I don’t know how to describe it, but really, things starting to get better. I achieved that particular thing that I once thought impossible! No kidding, you better believe in your self now. Like really, please believe you’re capable of anything. Be confident. Do not let anything breaks you. You got a dream, you gotta protect it.  Copy that?

One of the thousand bombs that sticks onto my mind is that –

Think success, don’t think failure. At work, in your home, substitute success thinking for failure thinking. When you face a difficult situation, think, “I’ll win”, not “I’ll probably lose”.

When you compete with someone else, think, I’m equal to the best,” not “I’m outclassed.”.

When opportunity appears, really think “I can do it”, never “I can’t”.

Let the master thought “I will succeed” dominate your mind to create plans that produce success. Thinking failure does the exact opposite. Failure thinking conditions the mind to think other thoughts that produce failure.

It does sounds like an easy peasy command when one said Believe in yourself! – but when you really practice it, you will know.

Enough of that long rant. I will definitely write something about the book again, InsyaAllah. Next time, let consider uploading the book’s cover, I’m just too lazy to snap anything now.

Anyway, thanks for those who read! Drop me some comment or better yet a marriage proposal. I will consider it. Okbye.

I’m staring at the mess I made

Woke up, started today off with such a good and vibrant mood. I don’t know what and how it is, but something makes me happy. I don’t know what was that something though but I felt so energetic and very determine to live my life today. I was about to finish everything up since CKW needs the results for him to write and present them in a meeting board maybe, I don’t know. I just left with a few more errands and targeted to finish up everything by the end of this week.

Today was my second time dealing with the flammable, devil methanol. You know how worst it can be when you heat alcohols like methanol? Dammit.

I did this particular test that required me to heat up the methanol until it boils with my samples in, and using water for the condenser, it is reflux extraction if you know what it means. It needs to be run about 1 hour.

So, I set up the whole apparatus and let it runs about a couple of minutes until it boiled – seemed everything was okay so I ran to the next lab to do another tasks. 40 minutes later I smelled like something burnt, Kak Norsya and CKW already at the previous lab searching for what’s burning. Then I saw my Reflux apparatus. It was all black and I can see some smokes rising from it. Totally burnt!

The smell was very disturbing, and CKW scold me. Haha. No offence because partly it was my fault too. I should stay right infront of it for the freaking 1 hour to see how that shit that thing goes. Actually the water was accidentally not running, so the condenser can’t do it tasks. Things get hotter and that was when the methanol took that chance to rise and shine.

Methanol is a very dangerous chemical; do not mess with it – I learned it hard way.

But still, my mood for today wasn’t interrupted. Just, I’m a little bit scared washing it. Heard that methanol can absorb through our skin? And I felt sorry for those that inhaled the methanol smoke (including me!) I hope it wouldn’t affect much. I hope!

Now, listening to Parachute – The Mess I Made, yeah I’m just staring at the mess I made today.

Anyway, today is Denah’s birthday! We’re still in contact even it has been quite a long time of not meeting each other. We planned to meet up this month, I don’t know let see how it goes.

Do the best with what you have.

It is really hard of not having my own vehicle here. Tough, very tough. Everywhere I wanna go, I have to attach with Sakinah and consider everything about her. Sometimes, I feel bad for it but I just have to ask for her help, because if I don’t, I wouldn’t be able of going anywhere.

I’m thinking about having my own car, applying for a loan, buying a cheap-second- hand car, but after all it all comes to money. If I have several thousands in my bank account right on this moment, I will wait no more. I’ll buy at least a functional car so that I won’t have to feel such guilty feeling like what I’m feeling right now.

Arrived a little bit late this morning, I just realised I have to make everything up to register for my Master study that lasts only this week. I have to move fast. Sitting on my seat in the Student room, I glanced the “Saiful Nang – Kisah Orang Menang” book that I left last week. Continuing where I last read, today it’s about being hardworking. He said, hardworking people will find a way to make a living. They didn’t waste their time doing shit and always be super positive in what’s happening around them. They stand up whenever they fall, plan everything accordingly and just do whatever they think they can. It’s all about do their best with what they have.

Taking the advice, I walked about 20 minutes from my residence college to my lab a couple times when Sakinah wasn’t around. That, my friend – was the toughest decision I’ve ever made. haha! Well, at least I can break some sweats along the way.

Anyway, the book is worth reading. I love to read it slowly, digest the writings and reflect upon it. Such an inspiring book! You should own one though.

Till then, me going lunch!

wpid-7e7394242008a150b3d719ee9c0b8d07.jpg

This far

For that, I hate being here. This far.

I hate for getting the late news.
I hate that I’m the last person who knows.

I hate that they keep the secret away from me, just to ensure I’m okay – not disturbed by anything. I hate for the over concerned.

I pray for the very best. I have a huge pain wave inside my heart. It is painful.

I  feel like I’m not belong to where I stand now. I don’t know.

Tell me that I’m strong.
I will be strong, more than anyone expected.

Ulu Yam di Liverpool #UYDL

Remember a post about my story of buying a book? The special book that only have one left on the rack, and I felt like it was destined for me? Haha.

The book is seriously, a worth-read book. I made a very right choice of buying it when I really have to save that money. No regret!

Here is the book : Ulu Yam di Liverpool by Nazali Noor.

I'm a big fan of Abang Naz :] Heard that UYDL2 came out already. Can't wait to have one!
I’m a big fan :] Heard that UYDL2 came out already. Can’t wait to have one!

The book is a story compilation of Nazali Noor’s life. A true story that are written from his heart. He used to be a very ordinary village fat boy at Ulu Yam, can’t even play football, being cursed for dreaming too high, and have no big achievements during his school years. He hates Math, and it is funny to read his Math story in the book.

When everything seemed so wrong, all what he had are DREAMS. Dreams to be at Anfield, watching football match, supporting Liverpool. He wanted to be at UK! Inside the book, he wrote also on how he met Ain, his superwoman that keep supporting and sacrificing for him and their childs. Reading the book, it made me laughed and cried at the same time. I know everybody will do the same when reading it. Such a heart-warming. It is like I am the one that walk in his road. The difficulties, strong determinations and everything – I think, I learned a lot from him. From his book, and his life.

It made me think, that how big our dreams are, they can be reality. Just believe. The word BELIEVE itself is so strong. Now, he and his families settled down at UK, having a good big charity business, and at the same time his two important commodity – TIME and MONEY, finally are balance.

In this life, we have this two important commodity: Time and Money. Sometimes, when we have a lot of money, we doesn’t have enough time. We might miss some important moments in our life, like the moment our kids have her first teeth, the moment she can stand up by her own, and those little sweet memorable things. We traded our time for money. It is quite often right? I had seen many of it.

Some people can’t do anything about it. I understand.

Money is important. Living this 21st century, living cost hiking up like crazy. This issue had been risen up in the book, too, because it is the major problem that once occurred in his life, especially when he married.

It attracts my full attention because I will jump into the real world later. Mom don’t want to pay my phone bill after my Degree. Haha, so I need to plan beautifully.

“Makna Hidup Dalam Memberi”

I don’t quite get it, before. After read what he explained in one part of his book, now I understand. Maybe I should write it in another different canvas, later.

After all, this book is highly recommended. For the dreamer that are hesitate with their dreams, for people who need a wake-up reading, for everybody – just read this book. Seriously :]

The Border

It is hard to stop thinking on something that we never want to think about. It is even harder when the things just turn out in another way, not as we hope. So, that’s when the importance of Plan B comes in. I never think on Plan B, or any possible bad outcomes, because I am too confident that everything will turn up just like I planned. Or Plan C when I just get hurt and fed up by the circumstance.

I know. Allah had planned everything and if we could see how it goes, we will be so amazed on how smooth and beautiful Allah’s arrangement is. We will not grieve nor impatience.

What we need now is just a border. As long as the space doesn’t mix, and as long as the border isn’t interrupted by anything sharped, we will stay fine. The border may leaked sometimes, maybe all what’s needed is TIME.

The border leaked recently, and everything mixed up. I should remember how painful it was, so that I can rebuild the border again. Now I knew, the border that was built some time ago were not that strong. I shouldn’t easily move by anything.

time_by_sternenfern-d4wdngf

War stories

Over all the brain wrenching-assignments, I escaped by reading one of the masterpieces of A.Samad Said which is super awesome! Now I know why he had honoured as a sasterawan negara. The way he described things is so particular and detail even a leaf that fall from its stick ; he wrote into fine detail which always made me mesmerised.

“Tasik Syahdu dan Cerpen-cerpen Lain” really touched my heart. Not just because of the words used, but the theme that had been brought up. It is about war. The dark time of Malaya during 1940s and above, before we were given our freedom in shaping our nation. Before the independence day and before we can walk freely without the fear of bomb and murder.

Our great grand grand parents had so much suffered during that time and it was the time where everyone regardless religion and faith were set into one. They doesn’t see the differences among them as a reason to be separated. They worked on their similarity that was to set our country free. All the tolerances and love were really on the air.

Reading the book is like watching the original scene. I am too drown into it.

War and losing is like a part and parcel. Again, I’m touched on how strong they were when handling with the feelings of losing their beloved. They doesn’t burst out and become crazy, no. They take care on what is left. They continue their life and restore their happiness. But, deep in their sole heart,  the memories of their beloved were stained strong.  They live with the memories. That’s what keep them strong.

Mata Siew Fong samar oleh air mata. Dia segera terkejut dari khayalannya apabila merasa tangan anaknya memegang bahunya. Dia menoleh dan merasa malu, dan mencuba mengesat air matanya itu, tapi terlambat benar. Anaknya sendiri sudah menolong mengesatkan.

“Ayah”, kata Siu Lan.

“Ayah ingatkan ibu, bukan?”

Siew Fong tidak dapat menyembunyikan isi hatinya lagi. Memang benarlah itu yang dirasakannya, memang itulah.Dia segera mengangguk. Untuk bersuara tidak terdaya rasanya, sebab air matanya sudah menabiri matanya lagi.

(petikan daripada “Saat Terakhir”, cerpen ke 5)

They played their part well and now is our turn. What will we do to pay their sweats and tears?

It is more than war. It is about the journey.
The unfold stories of war

“motivitamin”

Bismillah.

Like reaching out from a dark pitch tunnel, finally I can write again after a series of problem in loading this blog. Wonder what is actually happened.

Today is like a huge revelation. Revelation of uncertainty decision and whatever things that keep haunted me silently. I received a chronologies of motivational talks today and that was really made myself revitalize.

Started when I accompanied my friend to meet her mentor, Prof Shabdin. Apart of his hometown is Kedah, he is charming in his own style. I mean, not physically but in his words of wisdom. The way he talks and how he advices and motivates his students is enough to put him on top of the role model list. He truly is, indeed. At least, for me.

After their mentor-mentee session and after my long time silent in a chair at the corner, finally I took apart in the conversation. Then, it was when Prof Shabdin started to give his golden story and words. I can’t resist any story of him. They are worth to listen, like forever. How I wish to put them on a tape and re-listen it whenever I feel down.

He told us about his sweet and savoury life, especially when he was doing his master and phD. It makes me amused listening to his story and I left his room with a thought of “See? Allah already planned us a worth – riding journey”. All the problems, painful events that ever happened in our life is actually a seed. A fruitful seed that make us grow and be better. Whenever you is being scolded, isolated, hated, condemned, and thousands more things that made you pissed off, just keep in calm. I once looked down at the power of “Keep Calm” (clumsy me), until recently I tried to understand the meaning beyond the word.

It really is. Keep calm has power and know what? We can’t really solve our problem by keep thinking about it. It never been solved in that way. First thing first, you need to relocate your focus and try to “switch off” your brain. That’s all what we need. To relocate our focus, then it comes to the power of remembrance of Allah. That is the ultimate focus that we should give to.

Everything is a test and who give the test?

Switch off the brain is actually “sleep”. Prof said that one of his friend can’t even fall asleep at night due to his endless working mind. I am included into the zone, sometime.

That’s only a quarter part. Another part he gave is a family-oriented talk. I assumed it as his own experience sharing. “Topic” covered is like marriage during study and how to cope with personal problem, hardship in building our personality, parents and things like that. I found it interesting and yes, it is very important to organise them well. It can’t be planned just like ABC.

Following that, I called my mom right after Isya. Her voice always make me happy and motivated. Felt like I’m being here for a century. Counting days to meet all of them and I know I have to walk through a long journey before back in there. Mom said the same like what Prof Shabdin said. Exactly the same. She really wants to see me as a lecturer in the future. But, I am a bit sceptical in being involved in educational field. I know it is a noble job, but it is not the problem. The problem is I don’t know what is my problem in being so sceptical. Haha. Till here, my first Mid-term’s exam is tomorrow.

A lot more to revise and I don’t want to burn the midnight oil.

"the-reason-why"
“the-reason-why”

Stand up again

Bismillah.

In the midst of life, sometime we had been confused and follow the uncertain path. We lose our path.

We lose our target and goal.

Then, what we do? We just live. Live with the flow, right?

It is what had happened to me few years and months ago.It is worst feeling when I just don’t know what to do with this life.Maybe at that time, I am too young to think deeper or too sunken in knowledge that lead me to that state.

Until I found a beautiful verse in Al Quran (51 : 56) that said :

“And I did not create the jinn and mankind except to worship Me”

Familiar.

That is what I think. We did heard that verse again and again. Have we ever reveal the meaning of that verse or to be exact, “what can we do?” to achieve that goal setted by Allah?

I started to think. Worship. Is that restricted to pray and fast only? Nope,for sure 🙂

For some reason, I did found the answers.

Worship is as long as you follow HIS commands and leave all the sins deed. And to worship is to help Islam to grow and to perform amar ma’ruf nahi mungkar. And to worship is to contribute in spreading this beautiful and peaceful way of life and to wake the others up from their long ‘sleeps’.

A goal had been set.

I want to wake the others up from their long sleeps.For that, I have to remain stand up strong from the hurt,bad fall.

I want to tighten up my relationship with my creator. If  my 5 daily pray is complete, I should add up with another good deeds. The level should be risen, not fall or remain.

Along the way to my destination, I might feel sad, feel weak and whatsoever negative feeling.

And that must be changed. Good servants of Allah can never feel weak or sad as long as Allah is beside them. That’s HIS romantic promise.

 “Be not sad, surely Allah is with us.” (Qur’an 9:40)

Feel weak? Be Patience and Pray! :

“O you who believe! Seek help in patience and the prayer…” (Qur’an 2:153)

Till then. Stand up again.

Spread the love wide. ❤

Stand up like this little house. Being on high rock while beneath it is flooded by water.
Stand up like this little house. Being on high rock while beneath it is flooded by water.